Arrangements Shall Be Made
by SamJaz
Summary: The rules of Smash Bros are changing and it's now a team game. The Fallen are running the show and very few of the players have done this before. Shinji just punched out Cthulhu and Wolverine started a bar fight. This is day one. Rated R for Revy.
1. Link VS The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

Alright, I'm sorry for disappearing for ages, and I WILL get back to doing Pokémon: Lelouch of the Rebellion, but it's hard to do an epic war when you're out of awesome, so I'll be doing this.

Now, I WAS going to do Black Lagoon of the Dead, and while it would be awesome to see Rock smash Zombie Balalaika's head in with a cricket bat, someone beat me to it. It's called Roanapur Apocalypse Birthday Bash. I'd send you a link, but... You know.

So here's something involving Super Smash Bros. Enjoy!

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

_\_ _**Welcome to the Super Smash Bros Winner-Stays-On Tournament. **__\_ The ominous blue orb said in a mechanical monotone. _\_ _**Here you will fight until you lose, and the audience shall vote upon your next opponent upon each victory. **__\_

Link looked around the massive silver hall and at the people around him. He recognised a few faces, other Super Smash Bros veterans like himself, including some he hadn't seen in years.

But most of the faces around him were completely new.

They looked at the orb floating above them, blue with a black cross in the lower left corner, if orbs had corners, with the lines from the cross running around the sphere's face to meet again on the other side.

_\_ _**Standard Smash Bros rules apply.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball continued. _\_ _**Your objective is to knock your opponent out of the arena so they fall to their death. You shall be revived up to three times per battle, after which you shall be removed from the tournament. **__\_

Link raised an eyebrow. An elimination tournament? Now this was new. Usually the tournament are all for fun, barring that incident with the subspace emissary a few years ago.

Although, he could understand the reasoning of an elimination tournament this time. With all these competitors, there was no other method feasible.

_\_ _**On completion of three consecutive victories, you shall be returned to the hall. **__\_ the Smash Ball said, explaining the rules further as it floated above the crowd. _\_ _**This is to prevent the audience from tiring over seeing the same challenger without any variety. Of course, the audience vote may choose anyone from the hall to battle, so the battle shall continue until only one remains. Are there any questions. **__\_

"How does this teleportation work?"

Link turned his head at the idiot who just asked such a stupid question. The teleportation worked because it did! You don't ask how this makes sense!

The idiot in question was a young red-haired girl in a tight bodysuit. She had her arm raised with an angry glare at the Smash Ball, as if she was morally against everything the blue sphere said.

_\_ _**Your body shall be duplicated and the original destroyed.**_ _\_ The Smash ball said. _\_ _**The duplicate of your body shall be constructed on the Entry Pads when you enter the arena. Differences in your brain, primarily memories, shall be added to the duplicate when you re-enter the battle. **__\_

"So, it's kind of like Gantz then?"

Link turned to see a young man in a black bodysuit with several silver discs upon it. _\_ _**No.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball replied. _\_ _**This is nothing like the Gantz game. Shut up. Are there any sensible questions. **__\_

"What happens to us if we're eliminated?"

Actually, Link had to admit that this was something he was interested about. Link did not think about defeat, but rather the consequences of defeating those he knew and were also fighting for a seemingly trivial matter.

_\_ _**Losers shall be forced to watch better fighters from the audience. Are there any other sensible questions. **__\_

"Um…"

_\_ _**Yes your clothes shall be cloned with you.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball told the girl. _\_ _**So will any weapons you brought in with you. Anything else.**_ _\_

"Um… why do we have to fight?" a girl with long orange hair asked.

"Because we're here." A blue haired solider- Ike, told her before the orb replied. "Fragor Ergo Sum; I Smash Therefore I Am."

"But… but I don't want to…"

Link twisted his head around in shock.

_Didn't want to fight?_

He'd heard that such people existed, but…

_What were they doing here if they didn't want to fight?_

"I never asked to come here!" another person shouted, a young man Link couldn't see. "Why should I fight?"

Wait…

_Were there people here against their own free will?_

_\_ _**Sucks to be you.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said without sympathy. _\_ _**If you want to go home so badly, you better fight. Or not, if you want to stay and watch. **__\_

Link glared at the ball. "What was that?" A young man with spiky black hair growled.

_\_ _**If your fights are entertaining, you will win points.**_ _\_ The blue sphere explained. _\_ _**Points can be used to acquire weapons or abilities, an early passage home, or even just cake.**_ _\_

Link had heard that promise before. No doubt, it was a lie as usual.

"So… the better we fight… the sooner we can go?"

_\_ _**No.**_ _\_ The Sphere said. _\_ _**The more entertaining your battles, the sooner you may leave, if that is what you want. You cussers.**_ _\_

"What about the losers?" Sonic asked angrily. "Those that get knocked out, what if they want to get home?"

_\_ _**Fat chance. **__\_ The Smash ball almost sneered. _\_ _**Though I suppose you could ask nicely for other people to let you go home, or just wait until we have a winner.**_ _\_

Link clenched his fist.

There was no honour battling an unwilling opponent.

Not a warrior's honour.

Link had little patience for that.

This completely went against his honour as a Smash Brother.

"What kinda joke isa this?" Mario asked angrily. "We're supposeda to enjoy the battles, nota be forced!"

_\_ _**The rules have changed, plumber.**_ _\_ The sphere told him. _\_ _**You are not in mushroom kingdom anymore.**_ _\_

Link gritted his teeth as the crowd around him quickly became united in uproar. A few knew about the Smash tournaments.

Most didn't know, but were intrigued by the whole deal.

But forcing those who didn't want to battle…

_\_ _**Shut the cuss up.**_ _\_ The Smash Brawl told them. _\_ _**Incase you forgot, I am your only ticket home. If you want to leave, you will do as I say. **__\_

"Well, about that."

Everyone turned to see a man in a brown overcoat swagger slightly with his hands in his pockets. "You see, I happen to have a space ship that can go pretty much anywhere and any_when_, so you can't exactly stop me from pretty much just taking whoever I like."

_\_ _**Your little blue box does not work across dimensions, so feel free. **__\_ _The blue orb snapped. _\_ _**Otherwise, shut up, you noob. **__\_

"Well, that's just it really." The man said, hopping up onto a table and pacing around. "See, I'm the Doctor, and I pretty much _own_ all of time and space. _So!_" he shouted, clapping his hands together and rubbing them with a grin as he turned from the blue sphere. "I can pretty much…" He spun around and pulled a silver device from his pocket and pointed it at the Smash ball, "Do this."

He pushed a button.

The silver stick glowed blue and a tinny, high-pitched whirring sound sang through the room.

_\_ _**Are you done.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball asked. _\_ _**Or do you have a sonic hammer you want to try using. **__\_

The Doctor pulled his tool back into his coat. "Right then." He said, hopping off the table. "Worth a try."

_\_ _**Is there anything else, or can we finally begin.**_ _\_

A young boy in a white shirt nervously raised a hand. "Um, I can't fight without my Eva…"

"Baka!" the red-headed girl from before shouted at the boy who just spoke. "You're thinking of the Evangelion _now?_"

_\_ _**Curb stomps are no fun. **__\_ The sphere stated. _\_ _**Arrangements shall be made. Are there any other sensible questions like that one. Because that was a sensible question. The kind I would have no objection to answering. Are there any more like that or just more stupid ones. **__\_

"Uh, am I really gonna have to fight these guys who have guns and sword, using my boxing gloves?" a short young boxer asked, raising his gloved hand.

_\_ _**No, you can take them off if you'd like.**_ _\_ the ball replied. _\_ _**And do not forget the people with magic, robot suits, alchemy, lightsabers, telekinesis, or superpowers. Ha ha. **__\_

"Hey, that isn't fair!" another man shouted.

_\_ _**Curb stomps are no fun.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball repeated. _\_ _**Arrangements shall be made. Is there anything else?**_ _\_

Marth raised his arm into the air and shouted something in a language Link didn't understand.

_\_ _**Absolutely.**_ _\_ The orb said. _\_ _**I like your style. **__\_

Link looked down to see blue light coming up from below.

So he was first.

* * *

_**LINK**_

_**VS**_

_**MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS**_

* * *

Link landed near a steel rooftop in a floating segment of wasteland. There was a water tank over there and a small maze of wooden fences, a good source of cover for his foes.

No matter. Link knew that while they hid the enemy right now, they would fall and rise again throughout the battle.

What worried him was that there were multiple opponents, but only two teams.

So they would unite against him.

"It's morphin' time!"

Link twisted around to face his enemy, but heard a voice some distance behind him.

"Mastodon!"

"Pterodactyl!"

"Triceratops!"

"Sabre-Tooth-Tiger!"

"Tyrannosaurus!"

So the enemies were all around him.

With a unified "Hyah!", five helmeted people in brightly coloured costumes somersaulted over the fences and landed in the dust around Link, posing with their weapons.

Link hadn't ever seen weapons like them before. They didn't seem sharp. There was no blade to the Black Ranger's axe. There was no string or arrows to the Pink Ranger's bow, and even then it was too short and rigid to actually provide any power to fire anything even if there was.

There was no grip to the Red Ranger's sword, and the Blue and Yellow Rangers' knives were almost too short to actually use.

Still, Link had seen many bizarre forms of weaponry in the past tournaments, and knew it would be foolish to write them off without seeing their capabilities.

Link drew the Master Sword from over his shoulder and tugged the shield onto his arm. It was five-against-one, and his opponents were highly synchronized. This wouldn't be easy…

That said, however, his opponents seemed confused.

"Wait… this guy's human!" the blue one shouted.

"Hey, can we talk about this?" the pink one asked, loosening her stance.

Seeing an opening, Link snapped his shield arm up and launched a hookshot, grabbing the distracted Pink Ranger by the helmet and dragging her towards him with a scream. "Kimberly!" the Red one shouted.

Link slammed her to the ground, releasing his hookshot as he slammed his blade down to the ground by her head. The shockwave sent her into the air as Link jumped up after her, spinning as he smashed the flat of his blade into her side, launching her across the small floating wasteland.

She fell over the edge and screamed as a pink explosion blasted up from the abyss.

Link launched his hookshot to the water-cooler, dragging him to safety as the Pink Ranger floated down on her platform, floating into intangibility as her safe-time protected her.

Link checked the score board.

**3-2**

So, they only have three respawns between the five of them.

If he targeted the weak one again, then that would even the playing field.

* * *

"I don't get it…" Revy asked from the waiting room as she watched the battle. "Why didn't he just kill the dumb cuss?"

"Killing the enemy doesn't achieve anything." Snake told her. "You still need to throw the corpse over the edge to score, and you can't do that when there are four other enemies fighting you." He smirked. "Found that out the hard way myself."

She turned around. "That's some useful advice." she replied. "What's in it for you?"

"Guns are one of the least helpful weapons you can use." Snake told her. "Besides, we're supposed to help the Newcomers."

Two-Hands shrugged with a smirk. "Well, thanks." She said, waving with the back of her hand as she turned back to the battle. "So, knock 'em over the edge, not kill." She thumbed behind her. "Whaddya do against lardo?"

Snake turned around to see Bowser playing a game of chess against Mario and grinned. "RPG's usually do the trick." He told her.

* * *

Link fired an arrow in the white cloth covering the Blue Ranger's neck, but he pulled it out without any serious injury.

Furrowing his eyes, he shot another one, this time into the Blue's chest.

The Blue Ranger was thrown into the air by the speeding arrow. So he was taking damage…

Link raised an eyebrow as the five Rangers got together, some on their knees, and began to combine their weapons.

It was almost as if they were trying to create a siege crossbow…

There was a glow as energy was drawn into the mouth of the combined weapon, and Link was reminded of Samus Aran's beam cannon.

Link's eyebrows shot up as he got to his feet and ran across the rooftops. There was a roaring sound behind him and he jumped as the building he was standing on was obliterated. He would have been completely blown clear by that attack if he hadn't dodged.

He heard an overhead attack and rolled, blocking the Red Ranger's blade with his shield as he got to his feet and drew his sword.

The Red Ranger made a series of movements as the other rangers somersaulted into position behind him. "Come on!" the Red shouted, challenging the Hero of Hyrule to come at him.

Link glanced down at their feet.

The water tank.

He subtly dropped a bomb from his pocket and charged through the Rangers with his shield. They were knocked harmlessly aside, some even dodging him altogether, but the damage Link inflicted was enough.

Link dove from the water tank.

The bomb exploded.

Water blasted the Rangers into the air.

The Blue, Yellow and Red Rangers were completely blown clear, though the Black and Pink Rangers managed to recover in time to climb back onto the battlefield.

Link rushed into the middle of the field as the Blue and Red Rangers appeared on flashing platforms overhead.

Of course, they were the ones with the most damage before the explosion, so they'd get thrown the furthest.

Link drew his sword, twirling it as the two Rangers dropped from above. "Where's Trini?" The Red Ranger asked.

_\_ _**You only get three respawns between you.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball explained. _\_ _**He's killed four of you, so no more respawns for you. Incidentally, you have yet to kill him once. Get back in there noobs. **__\_

Link looked up.

The Smash Ball.

_\__**The fight isn't up here.**__\_ it said to Link.

The Hylian suddenly went flying to the left as a pink energy blast struck his side. Link rolled to his feet as the Blue Ranger's foot flew into his face, and Link flew even further than before.

The Black Ranger charged at him with one arm outstretched and the axe behind him. Link recovered in the air and launched an arrow, striking the Black Ranger back as the Red Ranger leapt over him and kicked Link in the head, sending him rolling over the side.

"Alright!" the Red Ranger shouted as he landed near the edge.

Link raised his arm and fired his hookshot, grabbing hold of the desert fence and dragging him back onto the platform.

The three other rangers ran up and stopped behind the Red Ranger. "That's just not fair!" the Pink Ranger shouted.

Link swung his arm right, swerving in the air to avoid being pulled into his enemies.

The Red Ranger ran along the edge of the platform as Link came closer, jumping into the air and punching down on the hero as he got close.

Knuckle cracked nose.

Link lost grip.

He fell.

The Red Ranger landed safely in the dirt.

The pink energy exploded from the abyss.

Jason turned around to see a flashing platform descend from above.

"Just two more to go." He said to himself. "Let's go!"

* * *

"There you are, baka."

Shinji Ikari looked up from his corner to see the red-head that had caused him so much pain in his life. "Asuka." He groaned. "Hey."

She sat down next to him on the floor in a huff. "What was all that about earlier?" she asked him. "Do you honestly want to get back in those things?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then what?" Asuka snapped. "What stupid plan have you got now?"

Shinji looked up with determination. "I want to win."

"Huh?" Asuka asked in sheer disbelief. "What?"

"Look around." He told her. "People. Lots of people."

"What're you getting at?" she sighed. "We've seen people before."

"Where did they come from?" Shinji asked. "Some of them want to get home. Somewhere nice. Somewhere where they would want to go back to. Somewhere where third impact didn't happen."

"You think they come from other dimensions?" Asuka asked him. "Are you really that stupid?"

"Asuka, don't you want to go with them?"

The redhead stopped dead at the thought.

"The ball wants us to fight and to be entertaining." Shinji continued. "If we do, we get points and can use them to get favours." He smiled with determination. "What if… we do well… can we go to someone elses world where we won't have to be alone?"

Asuka turned her head away, pulling her knees in closer.

"…Baka…"

"No way…"

Shinji looked up to see a large blonde man walk up to them with a cigarette in his mouth. "No way… you guys Shinji and Asuka?"

That got them interested. "H-how… how do you know who we are..?" Shinji asked him.

"Man, seriously?" the blonde replied with a grin, squatting down opposite them. "Man, you guys are from my favourite TV show ever!" he started looked around. "So… where's Rei?"

"TV show..?" Asuka asked. "Wait, what do you mean Rei?"

The blonde man realised his mistake. "Oh…" he gasped. "Oh you guys are _after_ End of Evangelion…" he ran his fingers through his hair. "Cuss man…"

"What do you mean, End of Evangelion..?" Asuka asked, almost snarling. "What do you know?"

The man sighed, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. "The name's Onizuka." He told them. "Where I'm from, you guys were in a TV show called Neon Genesis Evangelion." He looked at their disbelieving faces with sympathy as he replaced his cigarette. "You guys… you're the only ones left… huh..?"

Neither of the two children could say a word.

A… A TV show..?

That's… impossible…

"Hey, you're not alone though." Onizuka told them hurriedly, thumbing over his shoulder. "That guy's from a show called Fist of the North Star, the scrawny guy there's from Death Note, but whatever you do, don't tell the brunette that's talking to everyone that she's from a show called The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya." He shook his head. "World might end if we do. Oh, sorry."

"N-no, it's fine…" Shinji managed. "S-so we're… fictional, back where you're from?"

"The whole shebang." Onizuka shrugged. "Second impact, Eva, Angels, none of it."

Shinji smiled.

"That's good." He said, glancing at Asuka. "That's good…"

* * *

Link took brief refuge behind the wall, panting for breath.

Once they got their heads together and began focusing on the battle, these Rangers were tough.

Their teamwork, though unconventional, was almost pre-choreographed, like they could predict his moves and were using them to their advantage.

But that was impossible, considering how easily he was beating them before.

He'd managed to take out the Blue Ranger since then, but it was a fight.

Link knelt down to pick up a power tomato and bit into it, recovering his energy.

His feet suddenly felt much more attracted to the ground- that was another thing he'd noticed in these Smash Bros tournaments- the more damage you took, the easier it was to get thrown into the air.

As if the whole thing was designed to entertain others.

Perhaps the Smash Ball hadn't changed as many rules as Link thought.

He grabbed the energy sword on his left and drew his sword, swinging them both in his hand as he smashed down the wall and charged for the Rangers.

The surprise didn't last long, as the Pink Ranger cartwheeled back and drew her blaster. The Black and Red Rangers charged in with their weapons and attacked from both sides.

Link blocked both blades with his own sword and shield, spinning the energy sword behind him to send the Black Ranger flying backwards. He pushed the Red Ranger forwards and deflected the Pink Ranger's ranged attacked with his shield as he tugged the boomerang from his belt and hurled it at the Black Ranger, sending him backing off the edge.

"ZACK!" The Red Ranger shouted as the pink blast burst from the abyss.

Link grunted.

Two left.

Catching his boomerang, he jumped to the side and threw it at the Pink Ranger, knocking the bow from her hands as he drew his own and fired an arrow at her, launching her through the walls as the Red Ranger came from behind.

Link twisted around and blocked the Ranger's sword with his own, leaving his back open for the Pink Ranger's laser blast. He flew into the air, but recovered and threw a bomb at the woman, sending her hurtling into the abyss.

The sky grew dark.

Link broke out in a cold sweat.

He landed on the ground and span in the dirt as the glowing Red Ranger punched the earth.

"DINOZORD!" he shouted. "COME FORTH!"

The platform shoot and split as a massive, red dinosaur rose from underneath. The Red Ranger jumped impossibly high and landed inside it as the ground closed up.

Link set his eyes in determination.

This was gonna be hard.

Tossing the energy sword aside, Link launched a grapple hook onto the Dinosaurs armour as it took a shaky step towards him. He shot forward, up onto the monster, landing on its shoulder and hoisting himself up.

He ran along the shaking shoulder before jumping onto the red head of the monster, stabbing his blade in for grip.

The head fell forward as another head from within came forward.

Link pushed himself up, abandoning his blade to jump onto the new head.

Once he set himself up, he used his grappling hook to grab his blade and pulled it out, bringing it into his hand.

Then the horns from behind snapped out from behind the Zord's head, pushing Link over the edge and falling.

With a grunt, Link twisted in the air and fired a hookshot at the Zord's dinosaur head, grabbing it and pulling himself in.

The dinosaur fell into the earth as the Red Ranger leapt out from it and sliced Link across the chest, hurling him into the abyss in a shower of sparks.

Jason landed gracefully as a pink burst of energy exploded in the chasm below.

He turned around as Link descended on a flashing platform, ready for battle.

The Red Ranger spread his legs wide and got his sword ready to attack.

Link hopped off the side of the platform, still flashing white as the Red Ranger charged.

Jason stabbed.

His blade passed through Link as if he wasn't there.

Link drew his blade and sliced the Red Ranger through the chest before his invincibility ended.

The Ranger fell to the ground in two pieces.

Link reached down and grabbed the corpse, carrying the halves in his arms and tossing them over the edge.

The pink blast shot up and warmed his face.

* * *

_**GAME SET!**_

_**THE WINNER IS…**_

_**LINK!**_

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

Now taking suggestions for who Link's next opponents should be. I'll do the ones I find interesting, not the majority vote.

And I'll be doing more of these scenes outside of the battle arena too, so ideas for those too.

And yes, some of these guys will be fictional to other guys. Should make things fun outside of battle.

And I won't be doing anyone from fanfiction. Remember, no curbstomps.

And concerning Goku, Superman and whatnot, Arrangements Will Be Made. There will be no curbstomps.


	2. Link VS The Scotsman

Back in the day, about ten years ago, me and my older brother Jared shared a game of pokémon blue, calling the trainer JardSam. Few years later, Silver came out, we switched it around and now it was SamJaz. He lost interest in pokémon, so I got rights to the name. It just kinda stuck ever since.

And that's the truth of SamJaz. Thought you'd like to know.

And I will get back to the regular programming, but kinda braindead at the moment.

As for this, this may actually end up as a serious one, with Shinji as the main character. I finally got around to watching Evangelion, plus the End of, and this is just too good for me to pass up.

Which reminds me, what was all that nonsense about a mindscrew at the end of the films and the series? Made perfect sense to me, even if it got a bit Lovecraftian.

So, without further ado, let's get on with it.

Oh, and while I remember, WATCH HIGHSCHOOL OF THE DEAD. I've read the manga, so I can say with certainty that it just keeps on getting better and better. And in case you missed the announcement in Neon Genesis Power Rangers, Casey W is doing a Persona 4 sequel to Fairly English Story. It's good, go read it.

Speaking of which, Neon Genesis Power rangers is much better now. You should all check it out.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

"THERE YOU ARE!" the orange ninja shouted, running towards his old friend and current enemy. "SASUKE!"

Sasuke Uchiha turned around and raised an arm, launching a skeletal arm of flame at Naruto.

Naruto exploded in a puff of smoke, and another charged around the arm in sage-mode, roaring as he charged up a rasenshuriken.

_\_ _**Oh no you don't.**_ _\_

Naruto's and Sasuke's head popped, spraying blood all over the room and those within.

Someone screamed as the arm of flame and the tornado of death fizzled out as the headless corpses fell to the ground.

Naruto and Sasuke then fell from the roof, their bodies flashing with a white light as they landed next to their corpses.

_\_ _**No violence outside the arena.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball warned. _\_ _**Otherwise your head asplodes. Any more trouble from you two and you will stay in your room until suppertime. **__\_

Naruto got to his feet and pointed with anger at the floating sphere. "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"

**BANG**

_\_ _**Yes I am cuss-face.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball stated as Naruto landed atop the corpses. _\_ _**Now clean this mess or you're grounded mister. If you don't want to deal with each other, just set him to 'Ignore'.**_ _\_

Sasuke immediately held a fist out at Naruto with a thumb up, glaring at him through one Sharingan eye. An orange hexagonical barrier separated the two, and Naruto stood up and banged on it, but Sasuke just smirked at him from the other side.

_\_ _**You cannot break through or communicate through this barrier.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball explained to Naruto as Sasuke grabbed his own corpse and heaped it onto his shoulder. _\_ _**The only time this barrier will go down is if he chooses so or if you face each other in the arena. Which reminds me.**_ _\_

The ball ascended into the air and raised its volume. _\_ _**Arenas numbered two through to forty-two are now open.**_ _\_ it announced. _\_ _**You also have your quarters available to you, as well as other facilities if you cannot be bothered talking to each other or just watching the fights. I recommend making friends, there may be team challenges later on. **__\_

Shinji Ikari raised an eyebrow at this new information.

Making friends was never something he was good at.

Better start making an effort.

"Idiot." Asuka said, almost reading his thoughts. "You're that pathetic that you're gonna run to some stranger for help already?"

Shinji turned to face her. "Why are you so… against this?" he asked. "Do you _want_ to go back there?"

"Of course I don't!" she shouted at him, getting to her feet. "But of course, the great _god_ Shinji Ikari makes _all_ the decisions, just like-"

Shinji slammed a fist into the wall. "You really need to work on that." Asuka told him in a huff, leaning back with a sigh.

The Third Child huddled into the wall.

Sobbing.

"H-hey, Shinji!" Asuka shouted. "Hey, come on! Don't be so pathetic!"

He pushed himself from the wall, rubbing his face. "I'm fine." He lied, smiling at her. "Want a drink? I saw some vending machines over there."

"H-hey!" she shouted after him as he bolted. "SHINJI!"

* * *

_**SECOND ROUND**_

_**LINK**_

_**VS**_

_**THE SCOTSMAN**_

* * *

It was foggy.

The bridge under his feet was built from rickety boards.

There was ropes to either side.

In fact, he was in the middle of three swinging rope bridges.

He saw his opponent in the mist. "Aight laddie!" The Scotsman shouted.

As Links eyes grew accustomed to the poor visibility, he saw the man lived up to his name. His long ginger hair was in a loose ponytail, his broad face covered by a wild beard. One leg was missing, with a gun instead, and a claymore over his shoulder.

He was wearing a kilt.

The Scotsman drew his blade. No finesse, no swordplay, he just drew the blade and gripped it with the callused hands of a warrior. "Let's be havin' a good one, mate!" he shouted with a broad grin.

Link smiled, drawing his sword and pointing it to the sky to show his agreement.

This man lived to fight.

This man wanted to be here.

This man was a Smash Brother.

_**FIGHT**_

Link charged with a roar as his brother-in-battle hobbled forward with his claymore.

Blades clashed in the mist.

"Not bad laddie!" The Scotsman said with a grin, ramming his shoulder into Link to bounce him back. "Not bad at all!"

Link rolled across the planks, grabbing a piece of wood to stop himself.

He grinned at his opponent.

He pulled on the board and kicked with his feet, launching himself for The Scotsman with his shield.

The Scotsman rammed his other shoulder into Link's shield, grunting as the Hyrulian stamped his feet into the boards under for leverage. "Put some back into it, ye scrawny-dress-wearing-earing-loving-elf-boy!" he shouted with delight at his opponent as he pushed Link back against the wooden boards of the bridge.

Wood cracked.

Link jumped back as the board broke. The Scotsman stumbled forward, but righted himself before he fell. "Oi!" he shouted happily. "That's playing a bit dirty, innit laddie?"

He leaned back on his good leg and grabbed the gun attached to his other leg at the knee.

"Let's play really dirty then!"

_**Thakakkaka**_

Link took cover behind his shield, grunting as flying lead took some chunks out of his shoulders and thighs.

Judging from his previous battles with Snake, Link decided this man would run out of ammunition soon.

Then, Link would attack.

CRACK

Link fell to through the bullet-ridden boards that were under his feet.

That sly little…

Pink energy consumed him as he fell into the abyss.

* * *

Cloud Strife smiled at the screen.

This was entertaining, he had to admit.

"Hey."

He glanced behind him. Tifa. "Hey." He replied, turning back to the screen.

She smiled, folding her arms. "You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?" she asked.

"It's not often I get to fight a strong opponent without the fate of the world at stake." Cloud admitted. "You?"

"Well, I'm not exactly upset about it." Tifa told him, waving a hand somewhat. "It's just… couldn't they have asked first?"

Cloud shrugged, glancing at the light around his feet. "Hey, looks like I'm up."

"Good luck." Tifa smiled at him.

"Save it for someone who needs it." He told her, drawing the First Tsurugi from his back.

"Alright then." Tifa sighed. "Good luck."

He was gone before he could come up with a witty reply.

* * *

Link's platform flashed dimly with light as he descended to the repaired bridge.

He'd underestimated his brother in battle.

An amateur mistake.

The Scotsman waved his fingers towards Link. "Come on then ye wee skirt-wearin' lassie!" he taunted happily. "Kintcha even git yerself a propa kilt?"

Link smirked, swinging his sword in an impressive fashion with a growl of power.

Then the bridge began to fall into two halves. Link grabbed a board by his feet as he and the Scotsman swung towards the rock face on either side of the chasm.

Link braced his legs to catch himself as he hit the rock face, then turned around to see the Scotsman aiming his leg at him.

The Hyrulian jumped as the Scotsman began to fire. He launched his grapple claw to the opposite rock face and swung over, dodging the bullets as he began to run on the side of the rock face.

The Scotsman laughed as he kicked off the cliff-face, swinging across the gorge as he fired rapidly with his other leg.

Link jumped onto one of the other two bridges and grabbed an FN P90 from on of the boards and returned fire, running along the bridge as the Scotsman's bullets ripped it to pieces.

The bullets from Link's gun shredded the Scotsman's arm and he fell, letting Link stop for breath as the two damaged bridges began to repair themselves. Link turned to see the Scotsman jump off his respawn platform and smash them both through the wooden boards.

Link quickly used his grapple hook to grab onto the bridge to stop his descent. "Not a smart idea laddie!" the Scotsman shoted, grabbing Link by the shoulders and ramming his forehead into his. "Never wrestle a Scotsman with one arm chained to summat!"

That's when the Hyrulian smirked as he reached up to the Scotsman's chest, blood from his forehead stained his blonde hair brown as the Scotsman reached back and slammed a massive fist into Link's face.

The two of them were consumed by a sphere of flames. Link took advantage of the Scotsman's shock by his magic and curled up into a ball to kick him away, forcing him into the Abyss.

The flames surrounding Link died as he began to climb up the chain back up to the bridge.

**DAKKA**

The wooden board that the metal claw was connected to exploded into shrapnel. Link's eyes widened as he pulled the hookshot back for another shot, but a bullet hit the gears of the claw, jamming it as the Scotsman was consumed by pink light.

Link spun in the air, then vanished in a burst of green light.

"Ach, yes can teleport too laddie?" The Scotsman shouted as the green diamond next to him turned into the Hero of Time. "Naye, yes can only do it if yes makes a green rock to teleport too, kintche?"

Link span around, but cursed himself as his blade span through the Scotsman's flashing body without so much as scratching him. the Scotsman laughed as he pushed Link down to the reforming bridge.

The Hylian's body cracked through the planks as the Scotsman jumped from his platform, his invulnerability fading.

Using the last of his magic, Link created a blue crystal around him to block the Scotsman's attack as he launched an arrow of light through his barrier.

* * *

"N-no way…" Shinji gasped, staring at the screen.

"What?" Asuka asked, prising a can from his hand and looking at the screen. "Huh, it does look a bit like the fifth angel, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…" Shinji nodded, taking a deep breath.

It was just a coincidence.

Nothing more.

_\_ _**Now for the monster mash.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball announced. _\_ _**The rules are simple, you'll fight multiple copies of enemies that you have battled before that, for one reason or another, were not able to take part in this tournament. **__\_

Shinji's blood ran cold.

_\_ _**Remember that one boss?**_ _\_ The Smash Ball continued. _\_ _**Now you can fight four of them. Doesn't that sound like fun. **__\_

Asuka screamed as her feet were consumed by a shining blue light. "ASUKA!" Shinji shouted, dropping his drink and reaching for her, but he couldn't reach through the light. "DAMMIT! LEMME THROUGH!"

SLAP

"STOP EMBARRASING ME!" Asuka shouted at him as she vanished.

Shinji stared at the space where she stood for a second, then looked down.

"Where is she?" he asked.

_\_ _**Fighting. Dumbass.**_ _\_

"_**Where can I watch?**_"

A blue light encompassed Shinji's feet as he was warped to an unfamiliar room with another TV screen.

Asuka stood wearing armour resembling that of Unit-02, but with no helmet.

She was in a metropolis, about half a square mile in size, a maze of towering skyscrapers and wide roads.

On the monitor by the view screen, Shinji saw a map of the city.

Including the locations of Leliel, the black shadow that consumed Shinji, Bardiel, the gray fungus that consumed the Evangelion Unit 04, Ramiel, the blue crystal that took all the power of Japan to defeat, and Arael, the wings of light that raped Asuka's mind.

She didn't know what she was about to face.

_\_ _**There are four enemies.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball told her. _\_ _**You and your allies have all faced them before. You cannot die other than being thrown out of the city, but the enemy will die as normal mortals do. You have one respawn, but with every enemy you defeat, you will gain another respawn. Smashing stuff will get you other stuff, but it will remove your cover. Flying enemies cannot ascend to a point above the rooftops. Do you get these rules? **__\_

_\_ _"Yeah, I get 'em." _\__ Asuka's voice said through the monitors. _\_ _"So, I wonder which four angels I'm gonna get to kill again?" __\_

Shinji shook his head.

These were the four angels she couldn't fight against.

She can't do this.

She's gonna die.

Shinji fell to his knees.

And he had to watch her go through this…

This was hell.

* * *

Cloud clashed blades with the madman, pushing him back with a powerful kick.

Kenpachi Zaraki laughed. "YES!" he shouted, tearing off his eyepatch. "_**THIS**_ IS WHAT I CAME FOR!"

The SOLDIER pulled a second blade from the back of his main sword as he felt his opponents power double automatically.

The Shinigami vanished.

Cloud span around with his blade to catch the attack.

And he could fight _more_ people like this?

This was heaven.

* * *

Link rammed a blade through the Scotsman's head as he fell.

He stood there for a second, panting for breath, before withdrawing the blade.

It was a tough battle.

He was a strong opponent.

Link leaned back against the rope of the bridge, rested his foot against the body, then rolled the Scotsman's corpse over the edge of the bridge.

He wanted to treat his body with more respect.

But he was just that tired.

That was probably a better sign of respect than anything else he could have done.

At least from one Smash Brother to another.

Link slid to his bottom as the world turned to light.

* * *

_**THIRD ROUND**_

_**LINK**_

_**VS**_

_**KEI KURONO**_

* * *

Link stood in the Night Sky, completely rested and rejuvenated from the last battle.

He was standing ontop of an octagon-shaped steel cage containing a glass tank filled with fish and water, with two-foot-thick glass panes.

His opponent stood before him, wearing blue trousers and a jacket ontop of a black bodysuit.

In one hand was a long, cylindrical rifle, in the other was a similar weapon, but much shorter.

Link met the look in his eyes.

They had both been in the wars.

Another Smash Brother?

No.

No this one enjoyed the battle, but he didn't battle to prove himself.

He knew his strength.

He didn't battle to win.

He battled to survive.

He battled to keep himself and others alive.

He let others die to save those he was able to protect.

He let those he cared about die so he could keep those capable of surviving alive.

He went through hell and back to save the one he loved.

This man facing Link did not battle for the spirit of the battle like the Smash Brothers.

This man was-

**BANG**

Link's headless corpse fell to the ground as a bloody eyeball stuck to Kurono's cheek. Ignoring it, he looked upward and aimed his guns for an enemy that didn't come.

_\_ _**You need to throw his body over the edge Clonerono. **__\_ The Smash Ball suggested.

Kurono clipped the shorter gun to his waist, keeping the rifle aimed high as he walked over and dragged Link over to the edge.

He drew the shorter gun and aimed it at another possible respawn location as he kicked Link's corpse over the edge of the tank with his foot.

Link looked down from his respawn platform, completely astonished about what just happened.

He couldn't afford any more mistakes.

Not against this one.

* * *

Asuka ran through the city with a weapon she took from a phone box. It was like a chainsaw, but shaped like a sword. A chainsword even.

It was a decent weapon.

She turned a corner and met her first angel.

Arael.

Asuka grinned.

_It's not in orbit anymore._

"Payback's a cuss, isn't it?" she asked, revving the blades as she charged.

A hallelujah chorus sang as a beam of light shot forward from the angel. Asuka blocked it with an orange octagonical shield, spinning around it to slice into the angel with the chainsword.

Blood sprayed as the metal teeth dug through the glowing flesh. Asuka pressed hard as another beam of light struck her point blank between the eyes.

* * *

_She saw herself in a train, standing over Shinji._

"_Do it again, like always!" Asuka told him. "I'll even watch you."_

* * *

Asuka growled at the angel, pushing harder as it forced her memories open.

* * *

"_What are you doing there?"_

"_You won't do anything! You won't help me!"_

"_You won't even hold me!"_

"_Nobody! Nobody! Nobody!"_

* * *

Asuka snarled at the angel in hate, screaming as she forced the blades further.

* * *

"_You don't understand anything! Stay away from me!"_

"…**I do understand.**"

"_No you don't, you IDIOT!"_

"_You really think you can understand me! You think that you can help me?"_

"_Don't be so ARROGANT! You can't possibly understand me!"_

* * *

Asuka opened her eyes and let the blood fly into them.

* * *

"_If you can't be all mine, I don't need you!"_

* * *

"That's all you can do, isn't it?" Asuka asked the angel as it bombarded her with the worst experiences of her life. "All you can do is remind me of what already hurts."

The angel screamed as the blade pushed through the final layer of flesh.

She stepped back and let her face and hair soak in the spray of blood.

"Pathetic." She spat at the angel, before moving onto her next target.

* * *

L hunched over the table, biting his thumbnail in concentration.

He looked at the pictures on the table, then glanced up at his opponent.

His enemy.

Light Yagami.

"The unsub…" L muttered. "Is violent. His violent tendencies stem from his low self-esteem conflicting with his superiority complex."

Light raised an eyebrow as L continued. "The unsub seeks to put himself above others without bringing attention to himself." He said. "He's nervous. Shy. Emotionally underdeveloped. He's sexually frustrated, but his twisted moral standards won't allow himself rape, so he seeks to pleasure himself with shallow fantasies of those around him. He has a crushing need for the approval of others, especially his father, and when he is ignored he lashes out, often at easy, undeserving targets."

Light sighed as he leaned forwards, resting his elbows on the table as he interlocked his fingers in front of his mouth. "That's a surprising analysis." Light told his foe. "But unfortunately you were incorrect about one factor."

L looked him in the face, not glancing down as he flicked three tiles down from his board. "Then it is your turn, Light." He replied.

"Right." Light sighed, looking at the suspects he had left as he analysed the clues he had established from his opponents previous responses, and his questions as well.

He thought.

He made a conclusion.

"Are you…" Light took a breath. "Margret?"

L stared blankly at his foe.

"No." he replied. "No I am not Margret."

Light cursed under his breath as he flicked the tile over. "Your move then." He grunted.

L reached for a slice of cake. "The unsub is Philip."

"Cuss." Light snapped, slamming all his tiles to the board.

"Looks like my win, Light." The detective said with a smile.

* * *

Link smashed through the glass, sinking through the water as fish exploded over his head.

Still, he couldn't hide down here forever.

Oh, wait.

Link grinned as he donned the Zora mask and expelled a mouthful of water.

He could hide down here as long as he liked

He looked up to see Kurono draw a knife from his suit and hold it fifty metres above Link's head, above the water.

Link wasn't taking any chances, and drew his shield as Kurono's blade stretched, slashing through the water and stopping as it connected with Link's shield.

It wasn't that the boy was relying on his weapons.

Link had fought opponents with far more powerful tools.

But Link was being hunted.

That's what Kurono is.

He hunts beings far more powerful than he is to survive.

He chases dragons as they flee from him, because he will not die.

Kei Kurono will not die.

Because Kei Kurono will kill before he dies.

Link twisted under his shield and launched a hookshot through the water. It clamped around Kei's face, and he let go of the blade as he tried to wrench it off.

The massive sword tilted, resting against the jagged glass as Link pulled Kei Kurono down to the bottom.

The water slowed Kurono's descent, but once he was on the ground he was helpless to defend himself against Link's iron boot as it crushed his head.

Seconds before Link's right shoulder exploded in a mass of flesh and bone.

Link roared in pain as the glass under his feet exploded into shards. A million gallons of water fell into the oblivion, sucking Link and Kurono's corpse with it into the twin blasts of pink light.

* * *

Revy ducked behind the steel crates as fire rushed over her head. "Cussin' A." she grinned, reloading her Cutlass handguns with her teeth.

She cringed as something exploded behind her. "Ha." She smirked, getting ready to stand up and return fire. "Rock's gonna be pissed he missed out on this!"

* * *

Rock looked at the chessboard at the table in frustration. "Cuss…" he muttered, before looking at his opponent. "You're pretty good Lelouch."

The Black Prince of Britannia smiled as his opponent picked up a knight and moved it. "Oh?" he asked. "Are you sure that you wish to move there?"

"Hey, you're up." Rock said, noticing his opponent was surrounded by a blue light.

Lelouch stood to his feet and offered a handshake. "As are you, Rock." He told his opponent.

Rock took his opponents hand. "We'll have to finish this later then." He said as he saw a red-headed girl running up to them. "Friend of yours?" he asked, noticing the hate on her face.

"Unfortunately." Lelouch said as he turned to smirk at Kallen before disappearing.

He found himself in a red room with a round table with some other young men sitting around its green surface. There was a smartly dressed young man with brown hair sitting next to a strange-looking one with wild black hair and not enough sleep. There was also a bespectacled man with wild white hair and another young man with ginger hair that obscured his face.

"Hey, you're here too." Rock said behind Lelouch as he walked up to the table and took a seat. "I'm Rock." He told everyone. "I already know Lelouch, but I don't think we've met?"

"I am L." the one with the wild black hair said. "This is Light."

"Hello." The brown-haired one next to him nodded.

"Akiyama." The ginger haired one nodded, turning to the white haired one remaining.

"Tomu." The albino boy said, pushing up his glasses as he grinned. "So, what's our game today?"

_\_ _**Who wants to play Uno.**_ _\_

* * *

Shinji watched Asuka, biting his thumb with folded arms as she ran through the city, clutching at the fungus trying to steal her body, making sure all of it went with her as she dove into the blackness.

He flinched as the black orb above the angel exploded into blood as the words _**TWO FOR ONE**_ blazed across the screen.

Asuka appeared on a road elsewhere in the city, two respawns left and one enemy left to kill.

"Just one more…" Shinji muttered to himself, glancing to Ramiel's location in relation to Asuka's. "Come on…"

* * *

Link landed on a red carpet. "Ach, Yer' a disgrace laddie."

The Hero opened his eyes.

He sat up.

He was in some theatre.

He remembered.

_He lost._

* * *

_**SECOND ROUND**_

_**KEI KURONO**_

_**VS**_

_**SUPERMAN**_

* * *

Link watched as the boy who defeated him ran through a black canyon as rain beat down on his and the caped hero's heads.

_He had lost._

It was over.

Link was out of the running.

"So, is this the loser brigade?" Cloud Strife asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"Don't you start." A muscled young man dressed in red warned him. "If you're here, you lost too."

"CUSS!"

Everyone turned to see the tattooed woman kicking a vending machine. "This is fulla CUSS!" Revy shouted, slamming her foot against the unbreaking glass.

Link stood up, looking at the dozen or so people that had already suffered defeat.

Only one was smiling.

"What're you so happy about?" Sasuke asked him.

"Ya know, I wasn't given chance to play." The blue-haired man said from behind his orange sunglasses. "And I think I know why."

Everyone turned to see him. "You're all pathetic." He asked with a smirk "You get your ass handed to you, and you're giving up already?" He laughed. "Not while I'm here."

"In case you weren't listening, it's an elimination tournament." A black haired girl in a yellow shirt sighed. "We're out. End of."

"Who the hell do you think I am?" he asked. "Don't you know that when they talk about The Dai Gurren-Dan's badass leader, they mean ME!" he shouted, jumping to his feet and grabbing the katana from his bare back. "THE MIGHTY KAMINA!"

He shoved a foot on the back of the chair in front of him and pointed at the high roof. "Fall down ten times, stand up eleven! Kick reason to the curb and break through the impossible! THAT'S THE DAI-GURREN-DAN WAY!"

Kamina kicked the chair and walked over to the door. "COME ON!" he shouted, kicking it down. "We're gonna break outta here and take this place." He made a fist and grinned. "WHO'S WITH ME?"

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

You know, I once tried to do a webcomic based on this concept, called Sanctem Mount. I wondered what happened to it and why it was so crap, but know I know.

It featured me as a self-insert character, the people weren't fighting, and Kamina wasn't plotting a coup.

Thanks for your suggestions so far. Like I said, I'm doing the ones I find interesting, and I might get several done in a chapter. Again, suggest characters that not only you want to see fight, but those you want to see interact outside of battle.

And the people who don't win get to join Kamina's Loser Brigade. How can this go wrong?

NEXT TIME! Edward Cullen VS Alucard, rise of the Dai Loser Dan, And Epic Uno.


	3. Alucard VS Cullen

Deep Space Cowgirl, Arrangements Shall Be Made.

Casey W, your concern is valid, and I will now explain myself.  
I quite like Shinji. He's a brilliant example of a character that has talent, is brimming with potential, but is intentionally pushed down at every opportunity so he never realises just how good he is. He doesn't put any effort into playing the Cello, yet he's able to play at a master level. He's no combat experience, yet his combat instinct is incredible. And he stays sane. All that time, everything he goes through, and he stays sane until right at the very end when there is absolutely nothing left for him and so many lesser people would have broken long ago.

To me, Shinji is a Minato that was made into a weak orange juice that tastes like cuss. So one of the subplots will involve me taking that orange juice and turning him into the badass he is capable of becoming. He will have a certain amount of focus, but he won't be _the_ focus.

And Shinji-108 is Shinji as a soldier. A VERY different direction to Shinji that's obsessing over a chance to sacrifice everything for the light at the end of the tunnel. A Shinji that is becoming Gendo, in fact.

And wow, that really makes it sound like Shinji's going to be the main character. Well, he won't. I have stuff planned for Rock, Light, Lelouch, Kamina, The Doctor, and the one behind it all.

You'll never see it coming.

Everyone else, I'm limited in my capacity to use characters I don't know, but I'll try.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

_**FIRST ROUND**_

_**ALUCARD **_

_**VS**_

_**EDWARD CULLEN**_

_**FIGHT**_

* * *

Alucard laughed at the boy that would be his opponent. He even spread his arms wide as the boy charged, tackling the Vampire Hunter and pushing him.

Alucard didn't even resist.

This kid deserved a handi-

**BOOM**

Cullen grinned. "See, I've played this game." He explained as Alucard floated down on a respawn pedestal. "In any other battle, you would slaughter me, but we're not fighting to the death." Alucard jumped down to the ground. "We're fighting to see who can push who out of the arena first."

**BLAM**

"You talk too much." Alucard smirked, blowing away the smoke from his gun as Edward fell back, a hole in his head.

The hole fell away.

The bullet was crushed against Cullen's skull.

"Well… that's new…" Edward said.

_\_ _**I did say that Arrangements Shall Be Made.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball pointed out. _\_ _**Vampires burn in sunlight, but you sparkle. I could write you off as some blood-sucking fairy, but the idea that you take power from the sunlight as a Kryptonian, which counter-balances your Vampire Blood, is so much more fun.**_ _\_

Edward pulled his flannel shirt open to reveal a burning S-like symbol emblazoned on his chest.

"So, I'm basically Superman?" he asked.

_\_ _**Vampire Superman.**_ _\_

Edward grinned as he loosed his eye beams.

* * *

"I hated those books." Yosuke groaned, turning away from the screen. "And now he's strong enough to go up against Alucard? That's a load of cuss!"

"Well, Alucard's already evened the score." Spiderman shrugged. "Besides, looks like Superman's not having it so easy himself."

"Oh come on." Yosuke shouted. "He's Superman for pete's sake! No-one can beat him!"

"Batman and Goku can." Spiderman shrugged. "And by the looks of it, so can that guy."

* * *

**BLAM**

Kurono glared at the falling body as Superman's blood sprayed on his skin.

He hopped up the cliff face and grabbed the cape, dragging him along the floor and throwing him into the abyss.

Now, time to wait as Superman respawned.

Kurono ran like hell as Superman loosed his eyebeams. He took aim as he ran, dodging behind a rock as he locked onto the head with his X-gun, before dragging him to the ground with the H-blaster.

**BLAM**

* * *

_**THIRD ROUND**_

_**KEI KURONO**_

_**VS**_

_**THE BROOMSTICK**_

_**FIGHT**_

* * *

The arena was a circular platform made of cobbles, with a well in the centre. The circle had a bridge leading to a similar platform.

Kurono stood facing a broomstick with hands, holding two buckets of water while standing on its brush.

He glared.

This was too easy.

There was something up with this.

There was a trick going on.

Broomsticks can fly, right?

The broom walked up to the well and poured the water into it, using the two sides of the brushes as primitive legs.

Water splashed out of the well as the broomstick turned around and walked towards the other one.

Kurono raised his gun and fired.

He waited for a few seconds.

The broom exploded into thousands of splinters.

Most of these flew over the edge, but several dozen fragments landed on the stone, regrowing themselves into several other broomsticks.

Kurono counted thirty broomsticks carrying buckets of water from one well to the next.

Guns were not going to help here.

Not directly at any rate.

He aimed the H-gun at the bridge and destroyed it.

He stared agape as the broomsticks walked over the edge like lemmings.

_\_ _**You are no fun. I said no curbstomps.**_ _\_

"You had me going until I figured it out." Kurono admitted. "Next round?"

_\_ _**Three consecutive wins. You win.**_ _\_

* * *

Kamina laughed.

He couldn't help it.

It was just so ridiculous.

"Shut up." Alucard snarled.

"It's pretty cussin' hilarious if you ask me." Revy grinned. "How did you, of all people, lose to a cussing sparkle-fairy in a cape?"

"It was a close battle lad." The Scotsman said, patting Alucard on the shoulder. "Either way, I'm happy yer on our team mate!"

Link nodded as Edward Cullen landed on the carpet.

Violently.

"This is just adding insult to injury." Alucard snarled, walking over to the boy that defeated him and wrenching him from the floor and snarling into his face. "How did YOU lose?"

"He had a Bat-Crucifix!" Edward protested. "Made of Kryptonite! WHO HAS A BAT-CRUCIFIX MADE OF KRYPTONITE?"

"Well, there's this one guy..." Superman said, smirking slightly.

* * *

Lelouch placed a card down. "Uno." He said, eyeing his opponents.

They weren't happy men, barring the white haired Tomu, who was grinning, but as a self-proclaimed gambler, Lelouch doubted that Tomu would have it any other way.

Light placed a card down, red seven, and then L placed a reversal card. "Uno." He said.

Light laughed, drawing a card from his hand with flourish and slammed it onto the pile. "Pick up four!" he shouted. "Colour, RED!"

Lelouch snarled, drawing four cards.

Such was the nature of the game, everyone was your enemy, yet your ally all at once. Alliances weren't made, but you worked out your opponents cards and planned for them to follow through your combos.

Rock placed another reversal card, bringing the game back to Lelouch.

Lelouch laughed, slamming another reversal card.

He clearly didn't have another red, so this will force the older man to draw.

"You know, you don't _have_ to say Uno when you've only got one card left." Rock said as he placed his last card onto the table. "It's just that if anyone notices and says it before you, you have to draw five cards."

Red Three.

"It's a risky gamble, but very effective if it pays off." Rock finished, leaning forward in a perfect Gendo pose to hide his glee. "Sorry kids, but when you play against Revy, you get good _fast._"

Light slammed his fists against the table and Tomu laughed as Lelouch, L, and Akiyama just stared at the seemingly harmless man that just won the game.

For all their mind games, their cheating, their tactical ingenuity, they lost to the man who played the game for what it was.

A game.

"Impressive." L said, placing his last card on the table. "You played us all against each other, get us worked into an attack on the man next to you, and get him so focused on defending himself-"

"That I wouldn't notice that you were the only one who hadn't said Uno in the past half hour." Lelouch finished, glaring at Rock as pink light began to consume the five losers. "I'm impressed."

Rock grinned evilly as his opponents vanished, and blue light appeared under his feet.

"Hold on." Rock said to the Smash Ball. "I want to talk about spending my points."

The light vanished.

"Am I right in assuming that, in addition to favours, I can use my points to purchase equipment and abilities?"

_\_ _**That is correct.**_ _\_

Rock grinned.

"I wanna be a Jedi."

* * *

"Easy!" Asuka shouted as she returned to the waiting hall. "I don't see what all the fuss was about."

Shinji sighed with relief.

"I want to form a team." He told her. "We'll need more members, but I think that this is the safest option."

"You're dead-set on us escaping, aren't you?" she asked him.

"I'm not going back." Shinji told her. "I won't."

Asuka sighed.

"Fine." She submitted. "Who do you want to join with?"

* * *

_**SECOND ROUND**_

_**MARLUXIA**_

_**VS**_

_**SIMON**_

_**FIGHT**_

* * *

The pink-haired nobody flicked his hair as rose petals fell around him. "Well, another boring mortal." Marluxia laughed. "Well, let's see how you-"

WHAM

Marluxia wasn't given time to recover from the jaw-shattering punch. Simon dealt blow after blow in quick succession, breaking bone and flesh without any hesitation or fear. Within seconds of the fight beginning, he had kicked his opponent over the edge.

"What the hell?" Marluxia shouted, teleporting behind Simon with his scythe, still immortal from the respawn. "KNOW YOUR PLACE!"

Simon slammed an elbow behind him, breaking Marluxia's nose.

"**Know _your _place!**" Simon roared, turning around and kicking Marluxia to the ground. "**Who the _Hell do you Think I AM_?**"

* * *

Kamina whistled approvingly. "That's my bro there." He said with a smirk to Revy. "He's taller than me now."

"Whatever." Revy sighed, walking past him. "Why are there still TV's here in the corridor anyway?" she asked.

WOOSH

The Man of Steel suddenly appeared in front of them.

"I can't find an exit." Superman reported to Kamina. "The corridors loop."

"But it's a cussin' straight line!" Revy shouted.

"I know that." Superman said, floating in the air. "Let me demonstrate."

He fired a laser from his eyes and turned around to catch the red beam with his hand.

"So, the corridor's so long, it meets us from behind." Kamina nodded. "Makes sense."

"No, it doesn't!" Revy shouted. "Don't you know any physics, idiot?"

"Nope." Kamina said with glee. "What I do know, is that we should go…" he pointed at the wall. "Thataway!"

"How?" Revy asked with a groan.

Kamina gripped his chin in deep thought.

"Right, supercape." He said, raising a finger. "Punch the wall."

"I tried that already." Superman sighed.

"_Really_ hard." Kamina elaborated. "Like, hard enough to break the universe."

"That's impossible." Superman sighed.

"Why?" Cullen asked. "I mean, you _did_ fly so fast that you went back in time."

"I did that _once_, it's not exactly a habit of mine." Superman snapped. "And you can't break the universe, that's basic logic."

"Then break through impossible and kick the logic to the curb!" Kamina shouted, pointing at the roof. "That's the way the Dai-Gurren Brigade rolls!"

"Not." Revy said, slamming her fist against Kamina's head. "Happening. Get It? Idiot? Comprende?"

"He did it." Kamina pointed out, thumbing towards the screen that showed Simon win his second consecutive match. "Mind you, that's my bro, so I don't blame ya if ya can't keep up."

"CUSS!" Revy shouted, shooting Kamina in the head as she ranted. "I'VE CUSSIN' HAD IT WITH YOUR CUSSIN' IDIOCY! CUSS!"

Kamina jumped to his feet. "THAT'S IT!" he shouted. "I am a GENIUS!"

"How the cuss are you still talking?"

Kamina winked at Revy and gave her a huge grin and a thumb-up. "Real men don't die, even when they're killed."

"…what..?"

"And real men…" Kamina grinned. "Will do something even if it IS impossible!"

He slammed his foot through the wall.

The wall grabbed his foot.

The wall threw him down the corridor.

The wall repaired itself.

"Hm…" Kamina thought aloud, hopping back to his feet. "We're gonna need a drill… a _big_ one."

* * *

The man in the suit wandered through the corridors of the place, trying to remain unnoticed.

"Come on Kyon!" one girl hissed, sneaking along the corridors with a very bored teenage boy.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the failing stealth.

The boy behind the girl was very concerned, but he wasn't afraid.

It was strange.

The girl was ecstatic about the circumstances, but the boy seemed almost bored, as if he was concerned… not about the girl, but what she might do…

He pulled out a pair of card 3D-glasses and donned them. "But that's impossible…" he said, pulling off the glasses and walking up to the two teens.

"Hi, my name's John Smith." He said with a grin, shaking the girl's hand. "Nice to mee-"

The boy punched him in the face.

"OW!" the man grunted, holding a broken nose. "What?"

"Kyon?" Haruhi shouted.

Kyon walked up to the man again, but the Doctor grabbed him by the shoulder and headbutted him.

"AARGH!"

"I HATE psychic headbutts!" the Doctor shouted.

"GREAT!" Kyon shouted. "Time traveller, alien, AND an esper!" he pointed at the Doctor. "You're just TRYING to ruin my day, aren't you?"

"Sorry, we appear to have a misunderstanding." The Doctor grunted. "I'm the Doctor."

"OW!" Kyon shouted as Haruhi pulled his ear down.

"You're being awfully calm about this." She realised. "Is there something you should tell me?"

"No." Kyon replied, pulling out of her grip. "I just adapt quicker than most."

"Yeah, he's a real Arthur Dent." The Doctor replied. "You remind me a lot of him actually."

"WHATEVER!" Haruhi shouted. "Come on!" she shouted, grabbing Kyon's and the Doctor's wrists. "This way!"

The world cracked, and time stopped for the three of them.

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Reclaimers… _

Time started again, and Haruhi stopped. "What was that?"

The Doctor grinned. "Let's find out." He said, running ahead. "Allons y!"

* * *

Roy Mustang regarded the wall with interest. "I see…" he said. "And you need me to destroy it?"

Kamina nodded, patting him on the shoulder. "Just do what you do." He grinned.

Mustang grinned, then clapped his hands and planted them on the wall.

**FWOOSH**

"WHHOOOO!" Kamina shouted. "PROGRESS!"

* * *

"**You will serve me.**" Lelouch commanded. "**You will protect me with your life, and will go to all ends to ensure my victory and will obey my every order as your master.**"

"Yes." Alucard replied, completely dominated by the Geass. "Your highness."

* * *

_**FIRST ROUND**_

_**ROCK**_

_**VS**_

_**SHINJI IKARI**_

_**FIGHT**_

* * *

Shinji stood in his white shirt against another man in similar dress, but with a loose green tie.

Rock was taller and older than Shinji, but he wasn't as battle hardened as the younger boy.

He could tell that this wouldn't be an easy battle.

He drew his lightsaber from his belt and flicked out the green blade.

Shinji glared.

Rock raised an arm and launched Shinji into the air.

Shinji snarled, then twisted in the air and planted his feet against a pillar, then drew a prog knife from behind his back.

_Jedi. _Shinji thought. How to deal with a Jedi…

Shinji ran several simulations of the battle through his head, thinking of plan after plan.

_\_ _**You are getting boring.**_ _\_

A Scenario was formed in Ikari's mind.

Shinji leapt from the pillar, roaring with his knife in a wild attack that Rock blocked with his lightsaber, grinning as he threw the boy back. Shinji rolled on the floor, sliding as he adapted the scenario with the new information.

He held his arm out as Rock charged, and eight orange blocks appeared around his hand in an octagon. They turned slowly in the air as Rock slowed down, almost to a standstill-

No.

Shinji's mind was just running faster.

He flipped the blocks onto Rock as he was blasted off the arena with lightning speed as Shinji's mind adapted to its new perspective of time.

The world wasn't going slower, but he saw more of it.

Every colour.

Every movement.

Every second.

The world was his.

Rock returned to the battle, but it was too late.

Shinji turned to face him, and brought an arm back.

Shinji roared, and charged.

Rock swung his lightsaber around, and took a deep breath to predict Shinji's attack.

He saw the attack before it happened.

But when it did, it was too fast for him to block.

He sliced off the boy's arm as a fist went through his skull.

Shinji stepped back and grunted, then created an arm from orange light and picked up Rock's corpse, throwing it into the abyss.

_\_ _**I was under the impression that you were a coward. **__\_

Shinji glared at the smash ball, then turned again to face Rock.

"Calm down." Rock said, waving a hand. "You don't want to do this."

Shinji smirked.

Rock's mind tricks were stronger in the Scenario.

Shinji threw the knife at Rock, who deflected it with his lightsaber, only to be punched in the face and consumed in a pink blast shaped like a crucifix.

* * *

"Dammit Rock." Revy grunted. "Of all the weakass pieces of chicken cuss to lose to…"

"The kid was a walking god Revy." Rock protested. "I'm still learning how to do this Jedi thing."

Revy leant against the wall. "Cuss…" she muttered. "Still, at least you're better than wonderboy over there."

Rock looked to where Kamina was, roaring about how Edward Cullen needed to believe in himself, then sighed. "Got a light?" he asked Revy, pulling out a packet of smokes.

"Here." A man said, leaning across the corridor to offer Rock a burning thumb.

"Thanks." Rock said, leaning into the flame. "So, what you in for?"

"They put me up against a monster made of water that regenerated any damage." Mustang explained. "Fire was useless, so I had to make do with moving battlefield itself." He pulled his hand back. "It was still rather close."

"Colonel." A woman said.

"Ah, Hawkeye." Roy smiled. "Allow me to guess, they put you up against someone that was bulletproof."

"Close enough sir." Riza Hawkeye sighed, sitting down next to Revy. "A super-soldier in green armour with rapid-fire weapons."

"Orange faceplate, move way too fast?" Revy asked.

"Master Chief, his name was." Hawkeye agreed.

"Cuss." Revy sighed. "What was that cuss about earlier, about making the fights fair?"

"I don't know." Rock sighed. "I think it's trying to get us to get clever with our skills."

_\_ _**You losers might want to know that if you make a team of five then you can compete in the revival tournament.**_ _\_

Revy stood bolt upright and looked both ways down the corridor. "HEY BLONDIE!" she shouted. "YOU IN THE CUSSIN' HAT!"

Link turned around with a look of confusion.

"Ya wanna join our group?" she asked, before looking down at Rock, Hawkeye and Mustang. "You're coming too, got it?"

Rock grinned. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Revy."

"Colonel?" Hawkeye asked.

"Let's join them lieutenant." Mustang said. "Who'll act as leader?"

"Huh!" Link shouted, slapping Rock in the chest.

"Cuss yeah." Revy grinned, loading a round into her cutlass.

**SMASH**

"The cuss?" Revy asked the blue world.

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Blaze Reavers…_

"Blaze Reavers?" Hawkeye asked once time returned.

"I like the sound of that." Mustang grinned.

"My kind of team name." Rock agreed as Link nodded.

"Let's kick some cussin' ass." Revy grinned, leading the party down the corridor.

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the World Bearers…_

Shinji nodded to his teammates. "My name's Shinji Ikari." He said.

"Asuka Langley Sohryu." The redhead nodded.

"Naoki Kashima." The Demi-Fiend lied.

"Kaede." The red haired Diclonius said.

"I'm Simon." The digger said, gripping his drill tight. "Just Simon."

Shinji nodded. "We bear the weight of our fallen worlds." He said. "Right now, all we have is each other."

"Because all the lights in the sky are stars." Simon said. "Man should not be alone."

* * *

Lelouch Lamperouge, Alucard, Superman, Sasuke Uchiha, and Orihime Inoue walked along the corridor to take part in the revival battle.

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Black Templars…_

Lelouch laughed.

This pathetic contest was all but won.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

And the teams begin to form.

Alright, here's the deal. If you've been kicked out, you need a team of five to get back in. If you're still in, your team can have between two and five.

If anyone has any suggestions for badass teams, give them, because cuss's getting real.


	4. Sons of Malice VS The Fallen

Thanks for your suggestions everyone. Keep them coming.

Liberius, good call. Thanks for that, your suggestion has been corrected.

Also, I ought to warn you. Here be spoilers. Everyone taking part is at the height of their strength, but with all their memories of their series until present day to my knowledge.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Trail Blazers._

Sonic pulled his hand away from Tails and Blaze's. "Alright." He grinned. "Let's find Knuckles."

"Hold it."

The three of them turned around. "Shadow!" Tails shouted.

"Room for one more?" he grinned, twirling a gun in his hand.

_\_ _**DENIED. **__\_

Sonic flinched from the sound. "What the heck?"

_\_ _**Only two people from each universe maximum per team. **__\_ the Smash Ball stated. _\_ _**No fun otherwise.**_ _\_

"What about me?" Blaze asked. "While I _am_ from an alternate dimension as these two, it _is_ the same universe."

The smash ball hovered silently before answering.

_\_ _**Mothercusser.**_ _\_

Sonic grinned at his teammate getting one over the judge, but recoiled as he heard the sound he feared above all others.

"SONIIIIIC!"

"Gah, Amy!" he shouted, preparing to sprint.

_\_ _**You can set her to Ignore if you hate her so much. Douchebag. **__\_

Sonic stood upright, dropping a fist into his palm. "Oh yeah." He said.

* * *

Amy leapt into the air and dove for her love, but bounced off the orange hexagon. "Uh… wha?"

She stood up and saw Sonic walking away with that cat, Blaze. "Sonic!" she shouted, banging on the barrier. "SONIC!"

_\_ _**Rejected.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said with glee. _\_ _**Spikey's put you on his Ignore list. He wants **_**nothing**_** to do with you now.**_ _\_

"N-no…" Amy whispered, visibly shaking. "S-Sonic…"

"Hey, are you alright?" a pink haired woman asked, walking up to Amy. "What happened?"

_\_ _**This girl just got dumped. Her boyfriend's walking off with another woman.**_ _\_

"How awful!" the girl shouted, holding Amy by the shoulders. "Are you okay? What's your name?"

"A-Amy…" the pink hedgehog whispered. "Amy Rose…"

"Amy Rose…" the woman replied. "My name's Yuno Gasai. Wanna be friends?"

* * *

**BLACK TEMPLARS**

_**VS**_

**POWER RANGERS**

_**ROCKET BALL**_

* * *

Lelouch stood in the maze built of stone walls, holding a large, heavy black tube.

_\_ _**This game is Rocket Ball.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said. _\_ _**Somewhere in this maze is a skull. You need to hold onto that skull for 120 consecutive seconds for your team to win. If you die, you'll respawn somewhere in the maze. Anyone holding the skull can't use any weapons or non-passive abilities. Any sensible questions. **__\_

"What's this?" Lelouch asked, lifting up his pipe.

_\_ _**That would be a Rocket Launcher. It shoots rockets. They explode things. **__\_

"I understand that, but why do we have them?" Lelouch clarified.

_\_ _**Because I'm cussed off and I want to see people go boom. It usually cheers me up.**_ _\_

Lelouch nodded and turned around, swinging the pipe onto his shoulder and firing a rocket down the corridor and into the Yellow Ranger.

**BOOM**

_\_ _**That's the stuff.**_ _\_

Lelouch pulled out a walkie-talkie and pulled out the antennae. "Q-1, rendezvous with K-1." He ordered. "B-1, seek out the mark. N-1, meet with R-1 and operate Shadow Spear."

He got four sparks of acknowledgement across the radio, then stood up and moved to find Orihime.

* * *

"GOT IT!" The Blue Ranger shouted, lifting the skull into the air before exploding.

_\_ _**Amazing. You held onto it for a whole two seconds.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball snarked as the skull fell into the Red Ranger's hands. _\_ _**Dodge.**_ _\_

Jason didn't need telling twice. He sidestepped the rocket and faced down the man in the red cloak, before getting sliced across the back.

_\_ _**You hid in the shadow of Alucard's missile. **__\_ The Smash Ball noted as Sasuke tossed the skull to the vampire. _\_ _**Oh that was sneaky.**_ _\_

"Hold onto that and don't let go." Sasuke told Alucard, running up to his teammate who set off down the corridor. "Even if you get blown to pieces, keep a good grip on it."

The ninja twisted around and incinerated a missile with Black flames as Alucard swung the skull into the charging Black Ranger's head, knocking it clean off.

_\_ _**That'll hurt. Good prize. **__\_

* * *

"CUSS YEAH!" Revy laughed as she fired a rocket into the Scotsman's face.

Rock lowered his own rocket launcher and raised a hand to stop an incoming rocket, then threw it back from its source.

"Hey, I didn't have to save your ass!" Revy laughed. "How's Blondie doing with her buddy?"

_\_ "Link and the Colonel are providing cover." _\_ Hawkeye shouted over the walkie-talkie. _\_ "Keep the enemy occupied for another thirty seconds!" _\_

Revy laughed. "Try passing the parcel, it'll last longer then!" she shouted, firing into a respawning face.

* * *

Kamina watched the battles of those taking part in the revival tournament below with folded arms and a grin on his face.

Rocket Ball: A test of diligence, teamwork, tenacity, strategy, mental and physical strength, and your ability to cause absolute mayhem.

Two teams in particular were standing out- the Black Templars and the Blaze Reavers.

Everything was going to plan.

"You ready?" a man in dark, formfitting armour asked him. The skintight under armour was black with silver circles at various places on its body. The over armour was a ceramic black plates with bone and flame decorations covering the matte black surface.

"Hell yeah." Kamina laughed, turning around. "Nice suit."

"Here's yours." The man said, passing a suit to Kamina.

"Hm…" Kamina grunted, admiring the suit at arms length. "No cape?"

"That's back at the base." The man told him. "We need to go over the finer details with you before out big entrance."

"Nice." Kamina whistled, walking into the dark portal with his ally.

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Consecrators…_

"Now there it is again…" The Doctor said. "Only this time, we've got a new name."

"That's all well and good." Kyon said, gripping the bridge of his nose. "But that doesn't explain why there are two _**fictional**_ characters standing in front of me."

Spike Spiegel shrugged, cigarette in his mouth as Aigis looked at the Haruhi Suzumiya that was feeling her body with delight.

"Um… do you mind?" Aigis asked, clearly uncomfortable.

"A real life robot girl!" Haruhi shouted. "Sure, your artificial soul is more advanced than I'd like, but-"

"My soul is very much real, if it's all the same." Aigis said, stepping away from the girl as the Doctor pointing his magic metal stick at her. "What are you…?"

"But that's impossible…" the Doctor muttered, holding the metal stick to the light. "You shouldn't be moving." He said, pocketing the device and looking at Aigis. "Your circuits were fried _years_ ago how are you still doing that?"

"I found my answer to life." Aigis said. "I am more than a machine."

"Cool." Spike nodded, looking the Doctor's device intently in his hand, only for the Doctor to snatch it back.

"Oi." The Doctor snapped, wagging the metal stick at him. "Hands off the sonic screwdriver."

"Seriously?" Kyon groaned. "What's next, a laser spanner?"

"No, that's in my other coat." The Doctor replied, spinning around and starting down the corridor "Allons y!"

"Finally, someone who _isn't_ lazy!" Haruhi snarked at Kyon with a playful grin as she ran after the Doctor with Aigis and Spike.

Kyon sighed, then ran after the group.

At least Haruhi didn't commit genocide on a weekly basis.

Not knowingly at least.

* * *

_\_ _**Doubles doubles every where. **__\_ the Smash Ball said. _\_ _**The aim of the game is simple. Both teams have five members. Only two of those members may be on the field at any one time, so as soon as one of you retards get knocked out of the game, you'll get replaced by one of your teammates. Winning team is the team that still has people not in the hole. They get cookies. Retards get laughed at. **__\_

"Somebody's in a bad mood." Asuka pointed out.

_\_ _**That's it. You're fighting with a broken leg for the rest of this one.**_ _\_

CRACK

"AH!" Asuka shouted, falling on one knee.

"ASUKA!" Shinji shouted, kneeling down next to her before glaring at the smash ball. "CUSS!"

_\_ _**Don't you start.**_ _\_ The smash ball warned as Kaede corrected the break in Asuka's leg with her Vectors.

"Use your AT-field to hold it in place." Shinji told her. "We'll try our best to make sure you can sit this one out."

"Hold on!" Asuka grunted, forcing herself onto the wall and bracing herself with her spear. "I can fight."

"I know." Shinji smiled at her. "I'd just rather you didn't while you're injured."

The tattooed Naoki Kashima patted her shoulder as he stepped past her. "Don't worry." He said. "We've got this."

* * *

_**DOUBLES**_

_**WORLD BEARERS**_

_**VS**_

_**BLOOD RAVENS**_

_**FIGHT**_

* * *

Kaede turned around and blocked the knives around her and her teammate with her many arm-like vectors.

"Hm?" the shorter blue haired girl in the white dress asked as the silver-haired maid behind her look at the Diclonius and the Demi-Fiend. "Now that's interesting. You aren't supposed to catch knives when time's stopped."

"That was helpful." The Hito-Shura grinned, leaning down low, ready to pounce. "So, one of you throws the knives, the other stops time."

"No." Kaede corrected, bringing the many knives in front of her and throwing them.

The knives flew wild as the maid teleported the girl to behind the two World Bearers.

"I see." The man smirked. "She does all the work for you."

The younger girl snarled as Lucy launched her vectors at the maid, who blocked them with her knives. Sakuya stopped time, then prepared several hundred knives in the space of seconds, and then rebooted the flow of time.

Her charge screamed. "MISTRESS!" she shouted, turning to look at the pink explosion as Naoki's leg rushed for her face.

She threw dozens of knives into his body as Lucy grabbed her limbs and tore them off. She grunted as Naoki kicked her body over the edge, grunting in pain as he began to heal his damage.

* * *

"It's not that the maid's team was _bad_ per se." Spiderman mentioned, eating popcorn through his pulled-up mask. "It's just she was so focused on protecting the other one, she got her ass kicked. She was clearly the strongest link, but everyone else was relying on her, whereas these two they're fighting are actually working as a _team_."

"Do you ever shut up?" Batman growled.

"Well, yeah, sometimes." Spiderman pouted. "No need to be so grouchy about it."

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Knights Sanguine…_

"I didn't hear it." Marth said, looking at Ike, Kirby and Meta Knight. "Why?"

_\_ _**Three Smash Veterans per group maximum, Marthy boy.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball said. _\_ _**Boring if you all know each other.**_ _\_

"You keep creating these rules as you go along." Meta Knight said with irritation. "This is not a true Smash Tournament."

_\_ _**Is the Smash Ball gonna have to choke a cuss.**_ _\_

"It's fine." Marth said, waving his potential teammates as he walked away. "If we're on the same team, then we can hardly face each other on the battlefield."

Ike grinned and held his arm out to shake, which Marth gladly accepted.

* * *

Sakuya Izayoi woke up on the carpet of the Out Zone. "Glad you're up." Edward Cullen told her. "The Smash Ball told me to let you know that the rest of your team was evicted for sucking. His words, not mine."

"Evicted?" Sakuya asked, shifting into a kneeling position.

"Another new rule." He said. "Anyone who's boring gets kicked out. Anyone who's boring _on purpose_ won't get to leave. Best way to get what you want is to move up the ranks."

"I see." Sakuya said. "So, why are you still here?"

"Because you need a team of five to leave, and apparently I come from a book series that everyone hates." He sighed. "Although, if it was told from Bella's point of view, I can see why."

"Is she an enemy of yours?" Sakuya asked.

"No, she's my wife." Edward laughed. "Problem is, she adores me and is convinced I'm something I'm not." He smiled bitterly. "It's nice to be around someone who thinks you're amazing when you hate yourself as much as I do."

"I hear ya." Cloud Strife said, sitting down next to him. "I'm hoping that she gets beaten so I can form a team with her and get back in the game, but knowing Tifa…"

"Aw, did you think I wouldn't throw a match so I could pull you out of this mess?" a brunette woman asked as she jogged up to the little group.

"Tifa!" Cloud shouted, jumping to his feet.

Tifa smiled as Sakuya and Edward stood up. "So, one more and we can get out of here?" she asked, holding her chin thoughtfully.

"Very well." A dark skinned man with white hair and an X-shaped scar across his face said. "I shall join you."

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Luna Wolves…_

"Well, let's get to know each other then." Tifa decided. "I'm Tifa, this is Cloud."

"Hey." The blonde man waved.

"Edward." The vampire said.

"Sakuya." The maid bowed.

"I had a name once." The scarred man said. "To Ishvalans, a person's name is the most important thing; the name is regarded as a gift from God."

"Must be a nice name then." Tifa nodded. "If you've got a reason not to tell us, just give us a nickname we can use."

"Call me whatever you feel." The man said. "I threw my own name away."

"You remind me of someone." Cloud said. "I'll call you Red."

"Hm? You're here too, Scar?" Roy Mustang commented as his team walked past the Luna Wolves. "Well, I hope we see each other once you get past the revival challenge." He finished, waving with the back of his hand as he walked away.

"Scar does suit you." Tifa noted.

"Great to be working with you, Scar." Cullen told the Ishvalan, slapping him across the shoulders. "Alright, let's find this revival match!"

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Raven Claws…_

Knuckles put a gloved hand forward. Goku put a hand over it with a grin. "Come on guys!" he shouted. "You do it too!"

"Not a chance bub." Wolverine grunted as Snake grudgingly placed a hand on top of Goku's.

"Come on, even I'm doing it." Jin Kazama laughed, genuinely happy for once.

* * *

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Angels of Mayhem…_

Yuki Amano looked from Yuno to Amy, and finally to the pirate and the ninja who had just met the rest of the team.

"Not meaning to cause offense or anything of the sort," Captain Jack Sparrow told the boy, "But that girl of yours is completely off her rocker mate."

Yuki shrugged. "To be honest, I'm just glad she's making a friend."

Kakashi Hatake rolled his eyes and returned to his book. He'd worked with crazier people

* * *

Revy stretched her back as she walked through the corridors with her team. "Cuss yeah it feels good to be getting out of that dump and back to the real cuss." She grinned.

Rock smiled, then recognised a face from the other team that was walking past his own. "Hey, Lelouch." he said, stopping and locking eyes with the boy. "You get out too?"

The Black Templars and the Blaze Reavers stared each other down. "Well, see ya." Rock waved as he left.

Lelouch glared at him as the rest of the team walked away. "What's up?" Sasuke asked.

"That one is smarter than he lets on." Lelouch told his team. "Don't hold back against them for a second."

"Got it." Sasuke nodded, looking at the rest of his own team. "Still, mind-controlling our allies?"

"You're well aware that my Geass is ineffective against your Sharingan." Lelouch said. "We each have our own strengths, and we need to use them to the best of our abilities."

* * *

Asuka high-fived Simon as they returned from the battlefield. "Who's awesome?" she asked with a massive grin, turning her high-fives to Kaede, Naoki and eventually Shinji.

_\_ _**Ladies, gentlemen, variants thereupon.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball announced. _\_ _**We are reaching the conclusion of our first day of Smashing. Before you all retire to your quarters for the evening, I would like to direct your attention to a Sudden Death, no respawn battle between the two favourites of this tournament that shall take place momentarily. **__\_

That got everyone's attention.

_\_ _**To spice things up, the losing side shall be forced to disband and join with the rest of you idiots who haven't had the brains to form a team yet.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball continued. _\_ _**You will be able to place bets on either team during the battle using your points. The odds will constantly be shifting, and the longer you wait to place your bet, the less your payout will be. Now, are you ready kids.**_ _\_

There was a general shouting.

_\_ _**I can't hear you.**_ _\_

The shouting grew louder.

* * *

_**SPECIAL ROUND**_

_**SONS OF MALICE**_

_**VS**_

_**THE FALLEN**_

_**PRESENT**_

* * *

The battlefield was a stone castle rooftop in the rain. Lightning flashed across the sky and the wind roared.

_\_ _**Tremble before the Sons of Malice. **__\_

On one tower, five blue lights shone as a latin choir began chanting.

_\_ _**SOUSUKE AIZEN.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball introduced as the man in the white robe flicked his hair back, standing against the rain.

_\_ _**MADARA UCHIHA.**_ _\_ Another man in a white robe stepped forward, this time with a white mask with commas carved into its surface along black circles.

_\_ _**MAJIN BUU. **_ _\_ a pink, blob-like man in a white robe stepped forward into the rain as the tail on his head flicked behind him and his evil glare.

_\_ _**FATHER.**_ _\_ a blonde man in a white robe stepped forward, the rain sizzling against his body.

_\_ _**And finally, The One Winged Angel Himself, SEPHIROTH.**_ _\_

Lightning cracked across the sky as the chanting climaxed and screamed His name as he raised a sword from the parapet and smiled.

* * *

"Sephiroth…" Cloud snarled at the screen. "I just knew he'd be here."

"The Homunculus is with him." Scar pointed out. "This will be a difficult battle."

* * *

"That CUSS!" Edward Elric shouted as his brother held him back from smashing in the screen.

"Easy Brother!" Alphonse shouted, dragging him away. "You'll get to fight him later, but calm down!"

* * *

Goku grinned.

"I always wanted a chance at a rematch." He said, cracking his knuckles.

* * *

"So, my villain and yours." Ichigo said to Naruto. "Shame your guy couldn't show up." He added to the third member of their growing team.

"It's fine." Luffy said, tilting his straw hat. "I'll be happy with yours."

* * *

"This is a joke." Kyon said, looking at the screen with a tired horror. "Could there be a more broken line-up?"

"Wait, I wanna see the other guys." Spike said, leaning past him and looking closer at the screen.

* * *

_\_ _**All rise for The Fallen.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said as blue light flashed on another tower.

Five men stood there, each in matching black armour with a cloak on their backs.

_\_ _**KAMINA. **__\_ A blue-haired man with orange sunglasses and a crimson cape that bore the emblem of a burning skull on his back stood one leg on the wall and pointed at the raging heavens.

_\_ _**VANITAS.**_ _\_ A young man with wild black hair and golden eyes grinned in the storm as his indigo cape bearing the bloody symbol of the Heartless on his back as he laughed.

_\_ _**THE MASTER.**_ _\_ A man in his late twenties with short dark hair laughed at the world as a white cape bearing a stylised black M on his back before jumping onto the wall and standing their with outstretched arms, closing his eyes to smell the wind and rain.

_\_ _**DAVID XANATOS. **__\_ A man with a brown ponytail and a short beard stood calmly in the cruel weather as his black cape fluttered around him, a stylised, crimson X on his back.

_\_ _**And last, but certainly not least, Clasp you hands if you deceive for the magnificent cuss himself.**_ _\_

The leader of The Fallen stood in the centre as his tails of his closed gray cloak flapped in the wind. A black gauntlet pushed his sunglasses up his face as lightning reflected from the orange lenses.

* * *

"F-Father…?" Shinji asked, backing away from the screen as Gendo Ikari's name was announced.

"No, he died…" Asuka said, visibly shaken.

"Aniki…" Simon whispered. He could tell that those around his blood brother were not heroes, so why..?

* * *

"That's impossible." The Doctor said, backing away from the scene shown on the display. "Not him, he'd never ally himself with others."

"Huh." Haruhi said, tilting her head. "I didn't know that old guy from that show could fight."

* * *

"He looks just like you." Touma pointed out to Sora, who watched in horror at Vanitas.

"Do you know who he is..?" Kairi asked him.

"I… I don't…" Sora stammered, managing to talk despite feeling a wretched feeling of horror in his soul.

* * *

"That can't be good." Riku said to Mickey.

"That's Vanitas…" Mickey whispered. "He wasn't corrupted by the darkness…the darkness was corrupted by _him_…"

* * *

"Gentlemen." Xanatos said, stretching his arms forward and getting into a horse stance. "Choose not a path to victory. Instead, choose so all paths lead to victory."

His four teammates got into the same stance, let out a deep breath, and they let out a deep, unified sound.

The sound turned into a symphonic growl, which then grew into a mighty roar, and then an explosion of light and sound.

After the flash, the five members of The Fallen stood with golden hair flowing upwards, muscles bulging under their armour, their capes and hair flowing in the updraft of their power, and they each glared at their enemy with determined green eyes.

Then the five men brought a hand to the top-left of their heads, and dragged their fingers before their face in a claw, dragging a black-red light through their fingers that formed into white, skull-like masks with black markings.

The whites of their eyes turned black beneath the masks, their iris' golden as they glared at their enemy's: The Sons of Malice.

_\_ _**FIGHT.**_ _\_

* * *

"You can buy upgrades…" Rock remembered . "I used my winnings to become a Jedi, and look what they've done!"

"This is gonna be some tough cuss." Revy agreed. "I almost feel sorry for the other guys."

* * *

Aizen gripped his Zanpakuto. "Remember the plan." He said, beginning to draw the blade and stepping forward into the air.

He was knocked off his feet by the masked Gendo Ikari. Aizen flipped in the air, and Gendo drew an armoured fist back, before driving it deep into Aizen's groin, smashing him through the stone below.

Gendo relieved his enemy from his Zanpakuto and pulled it from its scabbard and vanishing fully.

Four heads flew into the air as an invisible Gendo Ikari sliced through the shocked enemy. His camouflaged team tackled the decapitated corpses as they began to regenerate from the damage and threw them from the tower's rooftop and into the abyss below.

Aizen laughed, rising into the air as his body began to tear itself apart and take a new form with his rise in power. He stopped laughing, however, when his chest exploded and Kamina's hand gripped the Hogyoku.

"Just who the hell do you think we are?" he asked as the black sphere was crushed under his grip. Aizen gasped for air that wouldn't come, and Kamina kicked the man into the darkness below.

_\_ _**WINNER: THE FALLEN.**_ _\_

* * *

"That wasn't a battle…" Rock said. "That was a warning."

* * *

"They got all the strongest villains from Japanese fiction and showed us The Fallen crushing them with ease." Kyon explained.

* * *

"This isn't scare tactics." Lelouch told his team. "This is a promise."

* * *

"Fight hard, and look what we'll give you." Cloud said. "Power beyond that of the gods."

* * *

"I'll kill him." Shinji snarled. "He tried to destroy the world twice and made me do it for him when he failed. That cuss doesn't deserve forgiveness."

"Sounds exactly like the kind of person Aniki hates most." Simon said with a furrowed brow. "So why..?"

_\_ _**Bed time kiddies.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball interrupted. _\_ _**You've got a big day tomorrow.**_ _\_

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

That doesn't count as a Curb Stomp. That was a demonstration.

Basically, The Fallen are the team to beat here. Don't screw with them, because they are total badasses, pimped out to next Tuesday with powers and equipment, can use their skills and teammates…

Yeah, thus ends the prologue. Fun times start from now on.

Remember, more match ups. More characters. More teams, more enemies. More contests to battle in. More upgrades for characters to purchase.

And I can understand if you're concerned that people will lose themselves in all the power-ups. Don't worry. There's a big plot going down about how different characters use different abilities they gain. The Fallen's powers are the top ranked ones that you can only afford by slaying armies of incredibly powered heroes. These guys had a very large head start from everyone else.

Speaking of which, the Sons of Malice have officially broken up. You decide who they recruit into their new individual teams!


	5. Shinji Ikari VS Gendo Ikari

Feith, I'm only using characters I have a decent understanding of. And Sephiroth's still in the game, just not in the team he was in previously.

You know, I learned a lot writing this chapter. I really, really like exploring characters. You can blame DropletofSour for this. I really enjoy his Persona 3 story, To Be.

And I haven't played BlazBlue. I just really like Bang's theme. That said, there comes a time in this chapter where you should switch the badass fight theme to 'Hoes & Wine'. Just saying.

Alternatively, you could listen to Devour by Shinedown on repeat because that song is bloody epic.

And there shall be a Time Paradox after this. Hooray!

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

_\_ _**This is Brawler City.**_ _\_ the Smash Ball declared. _\_ _**There shall be no more battles for the next twenty-five hours. Why twenty-five. Because I like to go one beyond. **__\_

The joke fell flat.

_\__** Feel free to use this time to rest, sleep, acquire upgrades, create teams or study on your opponents.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said. _\__** You could also visit your team house, as shown on the map points, but I can't see why you'd want that. **__\_

Silence.

_\_ _**There's also an entire city of bars. **__\_ The Smash Ball added. _\_ _**Go get drunk.**_ _\_

Cheers.

* * *

"Hey Al." Edward Elric said to his brother over a mug of lager.

"Yes brother?" Alphonse asked.

"I was thinking." Ed said. "Maybe… we should each join separate teams."

"What?"

"I mean, there's a bigger chance we'll learn more that way." Ed explained. "Sure, we might have to fight each other at one point, but that's part of the fun, right?"

The younger brother considered it. "Alright then." He decided, downing his mug. "Let's go make some new friends."

* * *

"FATHER!"

Gendo Ikari turned around as Shinji's fist impacted against his nose, sending him flying.

"Nice…" Kamina whistled as Gendo crashed into a table, knocking over several drinks.

"You cuss…" Shinji growled, storming up to his father. "You sick son OF A CU-"

SLAM

"Just who the hell do you think I am, boy?" Gendo asked coldy, pressing his son's head into the crater on the floor. "Know your place-"

Gendo dodged to the side of the spear that would have sliced his throat and caught Asuka's spinning kick. "Second Child." He said, throwing her aside. "So, you too are here."

Shinji swept his Father's feet from under him and scrambled to his feet.

He noticed his head was bleeding, but as his father rose, Shinji took pride in the fact that he wasn't the only one.

"If you have something to say to me," Gendo stated, pulling out a glasses case from his jacket and donning a new pair of sunglasses. "Then say it to my face. Don't lash out like a petulant child."

Shinji laughed.

He'd gone through this in his mind a thousand times.

He knew exactly what he wanted to say.

"Who's the child?" he asked, beginning to circle his father. "Me, or the one who couldn't handle the fact that his wife loved her pet project more than her husband?"

Ikari glared at Ikari. "Even mother was sickened by how low you went. And that's saying something, when the woman who slaughtered half the human race so we could have a _gravestone_ is disgusted at you."

"And you finished the job." Gendo replied. "The blood of the human race is not on my hands, boy."

"You wanted it though." Shinji sneered. "You wanted to do the job _so much, _**didn't you?**"

"I wanted to be with my wife again." Gendo said, cricking his neck. "What would _you_ do for the Second?"

Shinji snarled, but forced himself to control himself.

He knows all his tricks.

He won't allow himself to submit.

"How did it feel?" Gendo asked, pressing his glasses to his face. "Watching two mighty races, angel and mankind, _**burning**_ at your whim?"

Shinji choked.

Gendo pressed this newfound weakness in his son's armour.

"You must have been like **god.**"

Before Shinji could reply, however, a haunting chuckle spirited through the silenced crowd.

A man with unkempt green hair and a purple suit pushed to the front of the crowd.

"You know…" he said, licking his scarred, painted lips. "You remind me… a _lot_… like my father…"

He rushed forward, holding a knife to Gendo's bearded cheek as he pushed his face towards Gendo's.

"I _**hated**_ my _father!_" The man snarled, malice plastered across the white make-up covering his face before he broke into a grin and began laughing.

"Come on." He said, stepping back from Gendo and waving his hands into the air. "**Come on!**" he repeated to the crowd in a croaking voice. "There's no… no _need,_" he licked his lips. "To be so… _civil… _around here." He smirked, waving his knife without a care in the world. "Come on, it's not like anyone will _care_ if you, _die_ here, oh no. Good ol'… Smashy, up there…" he twiddled the knife towards the ceiling. "Doesn't want his… his _pets_ to be wasted like that, no nononono…" he chuckled.

"What he wants…" The man said as he licked his lips. "What _he_ wants, is the same thing… the same thing… that _I_ do."

He pointed a finger up, mouth open in thought as he spun on his foot lazily, drawing his next word out with relish.

"**Chaos.**"

He then snapped around and three heads flew from their bodies.

Asuka Langley Soryu, Haruhi Suzumiya, and Kyon's headless corpses fell to the ground.

The Joker laughed, holding Kyoka Suigetsu in his hand as the three corpses were consumed by a pink light.

* * *

"Whoooo…" Kamina whistled from the balcony above. "I thought Beardo had that."

"The clown clearly stole it when he attacked Gendo." Vanitas chuckled. "The old man got careless. Ain't so stoic now, is he?"

A dark cloak swept from above, flying down from the roof to slam into the Joker from above.

"Well, this might be interesting." David Xanatos chuckled, watching the Caped Crusader throttle the laughing madman. "And the father and son haven't even remembered each other yet."

There was a flash of light as Shinji slammed a fist into a column.

"**Where. Is. Asuka?**" he snarled, having recovered from the shock of seeing her die. Again.

_\_ _**Anyone who can't behave during down time or gets themselves killed is placed under house arrest.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball said. _\_ _**You should go see her. **__\_

Shinji took a deep breath, then turned to face his father.

"Hm, red eyes are never a good sign." Kamina shrugged. "I'm no expert, but _I _thiiiink that cuss is about to go down."

Then Shinji loosed his eye beams.

* * *

Asuka stood in the hallway of the house, comprehending what had just happened.

She had died.

She had died, but she was still here.

She rubbed her throat.

She felt Shinji's fingers, not the clown's blade.

She shook her head, walking through the house to explore, then finding a computer.

It was opened on a webpage.

Fanfiction dot net?

She sat down on the chair and looked at the page in detail. It seemed to be detailing a story based on Evangelion…

_Shinji and Warhammer 40k?_

_Shinji Ikari finds a boxful of insanity and becomes even more unhinged than before. Somehow, this is A Good Thing. As the grim dark future melts into stark bleak present, upon a throne of tropes humanity might find the savior it so requires._

Asuka blinked, then shrugged, deciding to read it.

Why not? Might teach her something useful.

* * *

Gendo held his arm out, forcing the red light from his son's eyes back with a powerful AT-Field.

Third Impact clearly changed more of his son than he had anticipated.

Gendo roared, screaming as his black hair and beard burst into golden flame and his muscles ballooned with his fury.

The red light vanished and his octagonal AT-Field split into eight blocks of orange light, turning outwards towards him as Shinji leapt through the ring, knife blazing with crimson fury.

Gendo drew his other blade and blocked as the orange cubes impacted against each other, filling the room with light.

"So, this is your power without that mask or activating your armour." A deep, charismatic voice said as Gendo's eyes recovered from the flash.

He found his blade locked with a nodachi that blocked both his sword and Shinji's knife.

"Mind if I join this battle?" Sephiroth asked, one black wing bursting from his back.

* * *

"NO FAIR!" Haruhi shouted, kicking the bookcase. "Shinji and Gendo are outside, having the father-son argument of THE CENTURY, And I'M STUCK IN HERE because some CLOWN decided to chop my HEAD OFF!"

Kyon sighed, rolling over on the bed.

"And what are YOU doing in MY room?" Haruhi shouted, pointing at him.

"I thought you called the room across the hallway?" Kyon asked.

"The whole house is mine, because I'M team captain!" Haruhi shouted, her chest puffing up proudly.

Kyon sighed.

"Haruhi, you could be _god_ and The Doctor still would outrank you." He said. "Trust me on this."

"Hmph!" the girl pouted, folding her arms and turning away. "And what makes _you_ the expert?"

Kyon groaned, sitting up. "Fine, I'll show you." He said, picking up the remote on the bedside table and turning on the TV.

Haruhi watched as he flicked through the stations until he found the channel he was looking for.

_\_ "He never raised his voice." _\_ the boy's voice on the television said as the little girl pushed herself from the ditch. _\_ "That was the worst thing." _\_

The comical man who ran with them earlier stood over the girl, no emotion on his face except for a calm, controlled rage.

_\_ "The fury of the Time Lord." _\_ The boy said in awe. _\_ "And then we discovered why. Why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he had run away from us and hidden…" _\_

The Doctor looked up, grim determination in his eyes.

_\_ "He was being kind." _\_

Haruhi's mouth opened.

_\_ "He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star." _\_ The boy said as The Doctor walked away from the fat man.

_\_ "He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy," _\_ the boy continued as the woman fell, screaming into a burning star. _\_ "To be imprisoned there," _\_ the door snaps shut and The Doctor stands there with folded arms. _\_ "Forever." _\_

An echo as he pulls the lever.

His feet walk on the wooden floor. _\_ "He still visits my sister, once a year, every year." _\_ The Doctor looks in the mirror, and at behind the door is the girl and her balloon. _\_ "I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is. Can you see?" _\_ the boy asked. _\_ "He trapped her inside a mirror." _\_

The Doctor walked away without a word.

_\_ "Every mirror." _\_ the boy continued. _\_ "If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you just for a second, that's her. That's, _always_, her." _\_

The boy stood, motionless as he was crucified against the grey sky. _\_ "As for me, I was suspended in time and the Doctor put me to work, standing over the fields of England, as their protector." _\_

After putting a sack over the boy's head, The Doctor walks away.

_\_ "We wanted to live forever." _\_ The boy said without a hint of emotion. _\_ "So the Doctor made sure we did." _\_

"That's what not the worst of it." Kyon said, pausing the TV and rubbing his forehead. "When he headbutted me, I saw some of his memories. I know what he's done."

"Haruhi, I don't pretend to expect you to listen to me whenever I ask you something, but I want you to promise me something." Kyon said, looking her in the eye. "Don't get on his bad side. I don't want to know what he'd do to you."

To her credit, she recovered from this lapse of confidence very quickly before she marched out of the bedroom.

* * *

"Hey, Brother."

Ed glanced at his brother, whose arm kept shifting from his normal, clothed arm of flesh and blood to a massive, armoured arm that was Alphonse's for several years.

The older brother glanced at his own right arm, focusing on it, and sure enough, it shifted from Automail to flesh and bone at will.

"Brother!"

"Right, sorry, Al." Ed said, shaking his head and turning to his brother. "What is it?"

"I was thinking." Alphonse said. "We want to be on separate teams, right?"

"Right." Ed nodded.

"So, how're we gonna find teammates?" Al asked.

"Well, from the guys I asked, they just hung out together and Smash!" he made a gesture with his hands. "Team formed."

"Then, what would happen if we started fighting alongside some complete strangers?" Al asked. "Would we make teams that way?"

"Probably." Ed asked. "From how things are looking over there, this crowd looks ready to go at any second. Why?"

Alphonse smirked.

"I always wanted to start a bar fight brother." He said, before clapping his hands and grabbing the metal rail on the bar. It liquefied in his grip and reshaped itself into a spear.

Ed blinked, then grinned.

* * *

Onizuka ducked as an explosion erupted from the bar behind him. "Sounds pretty crazy…" he muttered, glancing at it before returning his focus to the three-way battle between a super-saiyan Gendo Ikari, a crazed Shinji Ikari, and Sephiroth.

He dodged as the Joker went flying past him, shortly followed by Batman swinging on a rope.

Onizuka laughed, turning around to see Kenshiro standing right behind him.

Christmas came early for Great Teacher Onizuka.

"Hey." The blonde man grinned, before making a serious face and sending a flurry of light, swift punches that bounced off the man while making a screeching battle cry.

He stopped, thumb pressed to Kenshiro's temple. "You are already dead." Onizuka said, almost unable to suppress his urge to squee.

Kenshiro fell for the bait, swinging for Onizuka, but striking the back of a head of dark hair as the teacher ducked underneath the fist.

_SHNIKT_

"Oh, I am gonna kick your ass for that, bub." The man said, turning around to reveal the cigar in his mouth and the claws coming from his knuckles.

Onizuka couldn't hide his grin anymore.

* * *

Sakuya froze time mid-jump, then began throwing her knives. Once one million blades were in place around her, she clicked the timer on her bloody pocket watch and the blades flew through the air and sliced through their targets.

"NICE WORK!" Cloud shouted as he flew past her, mid omnislash as he made his way to the central battle, where Sephiroth was.

Cullen blasted past him in a burst of speed, Scar on his back to melt through the heads of those they passed. Cloud bounced off a skull and leapt across the crowd again as Sakuya landed behind Tifa and sliced through Auron's neck.

"Thank!" Tifa shouted, flipping back to kick Crocodile in the jaw and unleash her Final Heaven.

* * *

Simon Belmont cracked his whip, blade meeting blade as the vampire slayer backed into his teammate.

"How's it going Indy?" he asked.

"Snakes…" Indiana Jones said, aiming his gun at Orochimaru's advance. "Why did it have to be snakes?"

* * *

Megaman slid through legs, firing as he did before getting to his feet and running up the Shredder's back with a charged cannon ready to obliterate the Cyclops's head.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Angels of Iron…_

Megaman glanced at Shredder, Pit, Iron Man and Dokuro-chan.

Shredder shrugged and slashed his forearm across someone's face. "Sure, why not?" he asked, pumping fists with Iron Man

* * *

Squall blocked the blow that would have hit Rinoa, then ducked as she launched a powerful magic blast. A knight on a horse leapt over them, spearing through one soldier before vanishing as a white-haired boy finished the soldier off with a powerful blast of freezing air and slashing through it.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Roaring Lions…_

"About time!" Edward Elric shouted, slamming his hands together and hitting the ground to raise his teammates and himself above the battlefield. "Lady and gentlemen, please choose your targets and kick some ass!"

Hitsuguya smirked, nodding at Squall, Ed and Rinoa as Yugi drew a card from his duel disk.

"It's time to DUEL!" he shouted, slamming the card down to summon the Dark Magician into the battle.

* * *

"I… what?" Leon asked, looking up at the copy of himself that stood atop the pillar

"GET DOWN!" a blonde man, also by the name of Leon shouted, firing at the chainsaw wielding man that was about to attack the other Leon, who immediately remembered where he was and swung his glowing gunblade through the mayhem.

A silver-haired man in a red cloak jumped onto the blade and began firing at the rest of the crowd as the blonde ran closer to the other two.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Kings of Leon…_

"Hey, I love that band." Reno said, backing next to Leon, Leon and Dante. "Right, partner?"

"They're alright." Rude said. "How about you?"

"Hey, whatever gets me ready to PARTY!" Dante laughed, leaping from Leon's blade and back into the brawl.

* * *

Vash the Stampede was undergoing an ethical crisis concerning his rule against killing.

Does the fact that they come back unharmed change the fact that he is still killing them?

It still hurts people, even when they survive.

Is there any meaning to this violence?

A blue blur bounced on his head, twisting on the floor to sweep some legs from under some fighters. "Hey, aren't you joining in?" Sonic the Hedgehog asked the human typhoon.

"Is there any need to fight?" Vash asked, crouching next to the hedgehog. "Can't we all just get along?"

Sonic looked at him like he was crazy.

"This is your first Smash Bros tournament, isn't it?" Sonic asked.

Vash nodded.

"Well, we're all brothers here." Sonic explained. "While friends don't hurt each other normally, this place is like Valhalla. We battle every day and party every night. We don't fight because we hate each other. If we did, then what would be the point in bringing us back?"

Vash blinked.

"Smash Brother's fight because we're friends!" Sonic laughed, offering the human typhoon a hand of friendship. "Come on, get stuck in!"

Vash felt his gun, then grinned.

Drawing it, he fired six bullets.

Five heads exploded.

The sixth bullet stopped against an eleven-year old boy who sparked into existence like a god of lightning.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Trail Blazers…_

"Negi Springfield!" The boy laughed, flicking the bullet aside as Tails dunked someone's head down to the ground with his spinning tails. "Nice to be working with you!"

* * *

Sephiroth skidded against the ground, panting for breath.

Amazing!

He hadn't been this outclassed in his life!

Watching those two, that father and son tear for each other's throats…

This was where this monster belonged.

THIS was the Promised Land!

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Shadows of the Knight…_

Sephiroth looked behind him to see a silver haired boy carrying a sword that looked like a demon's wing, but had a little angel wing at the end. With him were two other boys, one with blue hair covering his face, and another, maybe his twin, but with black hair and a yellow scarf.

"Ryoji Mochizuki!" the black-haired boy shouted, twirling his longsword. "Chatterbox here is Minato Arisato and holy _crap _you are Sephiroth!"

The silver-haired boy's head twisted to face the hero. "Sora told me about you." He said. "Riku."

"I'm afraid that name has no meaning to me." Sephiroth said. "I apologise."

"Aha!" a higher-pitched voice shouted from Sephiroth's knee. "And I'm Mickey Mouse!"

* * *

"That's incredible!" The Master shouted. "Mickey Mouse is here to fight!"

"Don't underestimate him." Vanitas said. "He's a powerful and experienced warrior."

The Master and Xanatos looked at him like he was crazy, but were interrupted by one voice that roared over all others.

"_**ANIKI!**_"

Kamina grinned, stepping onto the balcony with his sword. "COME ON BRO!" he shouted, drawing his sword as the drill rushed towards him, before leaping over the edge. "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"

* * *

The Lightbringers charged against the Darktakers.

Touma smashed Accelerator's face into the ground, and Vegeta caught Sora's Keyblade as Marth locked blades with Kairi.

Misaka hung back from the action, instead launching a railgun to impact against Shadow the Hedgehog's Chaos Spear.

Alphonse clapped his hands and slammed the ground, creating a barrier to protect himself from Lucario's Aura Sphere. Morphing into a suit of armour, he then twisted around the wall and slammed an iron knuckle into the pokémon's jaw, knocking him back but receiving a kick to his own chin that launched him into the air.

This bout was interrupted, however, when a treasure chest with countless legs smashed through the battle and devoured all ten fighters in a single dash.

* * *

"Can't you control that thing?" Ciaphus Cain asked his teammate, hiding behind the bar with a drink in his hand.

"If I could, do you think it'd still be following me?" Rincewind asked him, downing his beer. "The Luggage is the Luggage. It just carries my stuff."

"There you are!" Jack Rakan shouted, hopping over the bar and ducking next to his teammates. "Come on, don't hog all the booze! Batman needs your help you know!"

"I'm fine here thanks." Cain said, turning to the wizzard. "You?"

Rincewind pulled his hat deeper over his head, shaking it violently. "I'll run when I want to!"

Jack sighed, standing to his feet and taking a keg of ale from the wall. "Fine then." He said, tearing the top off the barrel and chugging it down there and then. "LET'S SLICE SOME WARSHIPS!" he roared, summoning a 40-foot long broadsword and charging back into the battle.

* * *

"CUSS that's big!" Sasuke shouted as Lelouch commanded Alucard and Superman to disable Jack Rakan and retrieve his weapon. "How's the girl?"

Commanded by her Geass, Orihime took aim. "I REJECT!" she shouted, launching a burst of golden light that tore through Aizen's head.

"Better than I could have hoped." Lelouch chuckled. "You?"

Sasuke launched a burst of blue lightning into the chest of a blonde boy that looked too much like someone he knew. "Quite happily." He said with a sneer. "Damn I love this."

* * *

Onizuka arrived in the house, nursing his chest. "Damn…" he swore. "Still, punched out by Goku, whatta way to go!"

"Hey, you." A woman said behind him. Onizuka slowly turned around to see the gorgeous redhead in a bikini and leather jacket behind him. Her long hair was held into a ponytail with two pins and a skull-hairclip, and she carried a large rifle on her back.

"There were two guys in there." The woman said. "Both had blue hair. One liked drills, the other was from that The Fallen team. How were they when you were knocked out?"

"Huh?" Onizuka asked, before sighing. "I think they were shouting at each other about something while one of them tried to drill the other."

"Hm." The woman asked, eyebrows furrowing. "But why would he team up with _those_ people… oh, sorry." The girl said, offering her hand to shake with a smile. "Yoko Littner."

"E-Eikichi Onizuka!" the man said, shaking her hand excitedly. "And can I say just how wonderful it is to meet a woman as beautiful as you are miss!"

"Oh, okay?" Yoko asked, slightly unnerved. "Anyway, Kallen and Sakura went to bed for some sleep, but by the looks of it we've got another person coming."

"Oh yeah?" Onizuka asked, and was pointed to the poster on the wall.

**TEAM GURREN**

"Can't argue with that." The blonde sighed, leaning against the wall and pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. "Mind if I smoke?"

"Go ahead." Yoko shrugged, and Onizuka lit up. "So, what did you do before coming here?"

"I was a teacher." Onizuka grinned, earning Yoko's interest. "Greatest Teacher in all of Japan, me. How about you?"

"Same here." Yoko smiled. "I taught an elementary school on a small island."

"Wow." Onizuka whistled. "You must be popular."

"Well, it's a good job, and I love working with the kids." She said. "I actually got the job to forget about a guy. You?"

Onizuka looked serious. "What?" Yoko asked.

The blonde glanced at Yoko. "The man you wanted to forget about is fighting out there, isn't he?" he asked. "One of the two men you asked me about?"

Yoko's eyes widened. "Yeah." She said, taken aback at how perceptive this man was. Granted, most of the men she knew couldn't see a hint if it was painted on the side of the Cathedral Terra, but this man was clearly smarter than he looked.

"Thought as much." Onizuka grunted. "Wanna talk about it while I raid the kitchen for beer?"

Before Yoko could reply, there was another flash of purple light as a short woman with black hair and black robes appeared on the floor, panting for breath.

"Yo." Onizuka waved. "Welcome to the Team Gurren. Name's Eikichi Onizuka."

"Yoko Littner." Yoko introduced herself again.

"R-Rukia." The newcomer said, standing to her feet. "Rukia Kuchuki."

It took Onizuka a moment to realise his situation.

He was in a sealed-off house with four women.

Moreover, they were his teammates in battle.

Before this tournament was over, they would be completely wooed by his heroics and animal magnetism, he just knew it.

* * *

"Hm." Yukki commented, swirling the red liquid in his wineglass. "Personally, I think I might prefer white wine."

Yuno giggled at the joke as Jack Sparrow ducked under a flying bottle. "You're both completely barking mad, and that's coming from me mates."

"There's no reason why a man can't enjoy a drink with his beloved during a bar fight." Yukki smirked, before raising a minigun and opening fire. "I like to enjoy the simple things in life, don't you Kakashi?"

The grey-haired ninja lazily glanced up from his book, then resumed reading.

"Huh?" Yuno asked, looking around. "Where'd Amy go?"

* * *

"SONIC!" Amy shouted, trying to call out the hedgehog she thought would one day marry her. "SONIC!"

But her voice couldn't reach him. Not through the barrier he placed against her.

He didn't mean anything by it.

He wasn't even aware that she was calling out to him.

He had no idea how much he had hurt her.

He had no idea she was hurt at all.

He had no idea that she cried so hard, even the Joker hesitated before slitting her throat.

* * *

"Amy's gone." Kakashi said. "I think the ball said something about house-arrest when you die."

"I see." Yukki said. "That's good-"

Yuno grabbed him by the hat and slammed his head against the table as Kakashi's head exploded. "What!" Yukki shouted, grabbing the phone from his pocket and checking his diary.

**[? ? ?]  
**[_Attacked from three sides. A man and a woman in black and a phantom menace. DEAD END._]

Yukki sighed, pushing back as a massive katana slashed through the table as a darkhaired woman in a black, skintight suit leapt onto Kakashi's now empty chair and aimed two massive guns at both Jack Sparrow and Yukki.

_Where's the third?_ Yukki thought desperately as Yuno threw herself at him, pushing him from the blast before rolling to her feet and drawing her axe. He got to his feet and drew a cutlass and a minigun as Yuno screamed and charged for their enemies.

She froze as her axe collided with something mid-swing. The air grew heavy with a single feeling of dread filled the air.

_Menace._

"I love a lass who thinks she can kick my backside." the man in the red and black-striped shirt said with a malevolent grin on his face. His dark hair was wildly spiked upwards, a dark jacket covering the back of his shirt as he gripped the crowbar that single-handedly blocked Yuno's attack.

He kicked the pink-haired girl in the chest as a tornado tore through the battle and grabbed her.

"HEBLABLAHEBLABLABLABZTBZTPFF T!" The Beast gibbered at her, sticking his tongue out at her in primal glee.

"YUNO!" Yukki shouted, charging before getting slammed to the ground by Dennis the Menace.

"If you'll be excusing me ladies and gents, I think I'll be going now." Jack Sparrow decided with a nervous grin, before getting a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I don't think so, friend." John McClain said, pressing his gun into the pirate's neck.

"Right." Jack nodded. "Well, at least there's rum where I'm going. See ya tomorrow?"

"YUKI!" Yuno screamed, struggling against the Tasmanian Devil's grip as he tore her in half.

Yukki stared in shock as a bullet tore through Jack Sparrow's neck and his girlfriend's intestines fell to the ground like rain as both of them were consumed by pink light, no longer struggling against the madman's grip.

The dark-haired teenager above laughed as he slammed his crowbar into the Yukki's skull, then stepped back with a grin to face Kei Kurono and Reika Shimohira.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Rampagers Exemplar…_

"Cracking." Dennis the Menace grinned, swinging his bloody crowbar in his fingers as he turned back to the chaos at hand. "**COME ON IF YER THINK YER 'ARD ENUFF YA SOFTIES!** **WHO'S IT GONNA BE THEN, EH?**"

Taz ranted something coherent while John muttered something.

"I like these guys." Kei realised, sharing the sentiment with Reika.

* * *

The Joker turned at the noise with a grin.

A fellow brother in Chaos.

Sounds like his kinda mate.

"_That's as far as you go._" Batman grunted, slamming a weighted fist into the Joker and sending him flying, before ducking under the swinging red beam.

"Ah-ah ha..." The Joker said, standing up. "No, no nonono, see, this, _This_, is my new friend." he said, standing next to this caped man. "Ya know, Darth Vader?"

The Sith Lord glanced at the clown, and slammed the red beam through his eye, burning through his skull. "**I see no reason to ally myself with madmen.**" Vader stated, before turning to see Batman's foot slam against his helmet.

* * *

"Damn right that wasn't canon…"

Asuka sat back in her chair with a sigh, wheeling down the room towards the fridge and retrieving a drink.

The stuff she had been reading was insane. Impossible. The work of a cult.

She glugged down the can of Lilt.

The thought wouldn't leave her.

…

So why not try it?

Placing the can on the desk, she focused her AT-Field.

The yellow liquid floated out of the can in small bubbles, before floating into her mouth.

Asuka smirked, sold on the idea.

Let's see what else this madman came up with.

* * *

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Invaders…_

"Not my favourite teamname, but I can work with it." Master Chief stated, back to back with Samus Aran as Mario launched fireballs to his right and Luigi to his left, covering all sides as the grinning face of Greed slashed through those who dared get too close to this new band of battle brothers.

* * *

"ZA WARUDO!"

Time stopped for all except Dio and Mewtwo, who strode through the frozen battle as they selected their allies.

**This one… this one…** Mewtwo picked off, floating the two frozen bodies towards him.

"I'll take this one." Dio decided, hefting the final member of their team above his head and slamming him to the ground as time began again.

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Hands of Power…_

"So, does this mean you are my new allies?" Cell asked as Bowser stood to his feet. "Personally, I would rather _not_ work with someone who lost so spectacularly to a mere super-saiyan first stage."

"Silence whelp." Father growled, before turning around and returning to the battle.

* * *

"So, once again, you are still a puppet…" Sephiroth whispers to Cloud from across their blades. "You've just exchanged your master once again, from me to ball…"

"You just don't get it, do you?" Cloud sneers. "Maybe I _want_ to do this?"

"Hmph." Sephiroth smirks. "Perhaps you are the one who does not understand?"

"NAILING IMPACT!"

A massive metal spike landed on the exact point where the two blades met.

"QUICKER THAN THE WIND AND AS STILL AS THE FOREST!" A man boasted above the two SOLDIER's, driving the huge nail into the locked blades. "HOTTER THAN FLAMES AND MORE MAGNIFICENT THAN A MOUNTAIN!"

"HOORARGH!" The man roared, hair and red scarf flapping in the wind as he stood atop his nail, arms folded with a superior grin. "I, THE GREAT BANG SHISHIGAMI, HAVE COME!"

Taking advantage of this distraction, Cloud drew a blade from the First Tsurugi and swung at Sephiroth from the side. The One Winged Angel pulled his blade back, letting the ninja and his nail fall as Sephiroth swung for Cloud again, only for his ribcage to be obliterated by Bang's massive nail as the ninja roared "BLAZING RIB WRECKER!"

Cloud watched in horror as Sephiroth vanished into purple flame, then looked down to see the fool who dared steal his kill, grinning at Cloud as he fell.

Snarling, Cloud unified his blade and charged down at this 'Bang'.

* * *

"Huh." Davis Xanatos said, eyebrows rising. "I expected Sephiroth to last longer than that."

Before The Master could reply though, he felt cold metal against the back of his neck. "Aaah, Doctor." The Time Lord said, raising his hands and turning around with a cheeky smile on his face. "I was under the impression you didn't like guns."

"That was _before_ I came to _this_ place." The Doctor hissed. "What's going on and where are we?"

The Master chuckled, lowering his hands and turning around.

"You're at the Super Smash Brothers Temple." The Master explained, leaning on the balcony and watching over the brawl below. "A sacred temple to war, a place where battle reigns above all else."

"Stop playing games with me or I will kill you here and now." The Doctor snarled.

The Master laughed.

"It's this place." The Doctor hissed. "The air. It smells like Arcadia. It stinks of violence and war. The stench of blood and killing is _all around us!_"

"And isn't it glorious?" The Master asked. "We went to a lot of work to get this place _just_ right that people wouldn't think twice about killing each other without them losing themselves to the bloodshed." He grinned smarmily. "You've gotta admit it, we did a good job if you're using a gun."

The Doctor fired, the bullet scratching the Master's face as it passed.

"Aren't you guys gonna help me out here?" The Master asked, looking at Vanitas and Xanatos, both of whom shrugged, completely unconcerned. Sighing, the Master stood up and faced the Doctor. "Would it surprise you to know that I'm not the great mastermind behind this one?" The Master asked. "I was just the man in charge of building this place and sorting out the Timey-Wimey stuff."

"Then who is in charge here?" The Doctor demanded, pointing the barrel into the Master's forehead. "Tell me."

"_Or._" The Master sneered, shifting his weight onto his back foot. "You could use that Venusian Aikido you used to be _so_ proud of and earn your answers by Smash Brothers Law!"

The Master flicked his head and grinned as sparks flew across his fingers. "_Go on._" He urged. "Kick my ass. You know you want to. _Just give in._"

The Doctor glared.

The Master grinned.

The Doctor flipped the pistol in his hand, slamming the butt of the handle into the Master's jaw before launching a perfect roundhouse kick into his head, sending him flying into the wall as Xanatos stepped back to allow his ally to pass.

"That felt good." The Doctor admitted, cricking his neck as he tossed his gun aside. "And it looks like I've still got it."

"_Oh_ YES!" The Master shouted, pushing himself out of the wall with a grin and a bloody forehead. "Now _this_ takes me back!"

The Doctor let himself smile, before remembering where he was.

"I'm not enjoying this." The Doctor insisted. "It's just this place."

"Keep telling yourself that." The Master grinned, loosing a bolt of lightning from his fingers.

* * *

"That can't be right…" Ace whispered as she saw what was happening on the balcony above her. "The Doctor doesn't kick people in the head!"

"You know what?" L asked her. "Neither do I."

She turned around to see the dark-haired detective spin into the air and break her neck with a powerful kick.

"And yet, I don't seem to care." L muttered as the body was absorbed by pink light. "That doesn't seem norm-"

He was cut off as Suzaku Kururugi performed the exact same movement that L himself used a moment before, only this time tearing the Detective's head from his shoulders with a single impact.

* * *

**SMASH**

_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou fightest alongside the Heroes Argent…_

"I don't know those words!" Luffy shouted, smashing Spiderman down with his Haki.

"Argent means shiny metal." Gohan explained, uppercutting Yoshimitsu in the jaw. "Used to describe the armour of European knights in shining armour!"

"Nice." Jotaro nodded, before summoning his Stand, Platinum Star, to beat Kenshiro to death. "Not a bad name, but Killzone Diamond Elite would have been better."

"What, are you stupid or something?" Ichigo glanced, kicking Ageha across the bar. "That's a stupid name!"

"YEAH!" Naruto shouted, swinging a Rasengan into Uryu's face. "The Great Naruto Uzumaki Plus Four would be WAY cooler! OW!" he added as Luffy punched him in the back of the head. "It was a joke! Believe it!"

Then the ground shattered, and the five of them fell into the sea as a massive wooden frigate rose with the water, the entire city collapsing into rubble around them, leaving nothing but a raging ocean on a stormy night, and all those that weren't consumed by the waves found safety on the boat.

Then came the roar.

* * *

"What?" Cloud asked, standing on the poop deck as his previous opponent, Bang, fell into the sea.

"_What?_" Simon shouted in disbelief as the sea shook as a storm raged, and a beast rose from the ocean.

"What." Shinji stated from the mast, gripping his bleeding stump of an arm as he stared into the eyes of the great Cthulhu.

Gendo pushed the glasses upon his face. "This was not in the Scenario." He said, turning towards his son. "Truce?"

Shinji was gone.

"THIS HAND OF MINE BURNS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!" Shinji Ikari roared, his right arm regenerating with an orange light. "IT'S BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!"

He griped the brow of the great beast's head. "TAKE THIS!" he cried as the arm split into blocks to launch the beast back. "MY LOVE! MY ANGER! AND **ALL** OF MY SORROW! **SHINING FINGER! GO! GO!**_** GO!**_"

The light impacted against Cthulhu, forcing the beast to recoil in pain. Enraged, the beast did grasp Shinji Ikari in its mighty fist.

"SHINJI!" Simon shouted in desperation as Shinji gripped Cthulhu's fingers.

"This isn't over…" he grunted, heaving the beast from the depths and back into the abyss, dragging himself with it.

And as the storm waged, Shinji did descend through the depths of the sea with the great beast. From the lowest dungeon to the lowest peak, Shinji fought Cthulhu of the Cosmos, until at last he threw down his enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside...

* * *

Asuka closed the final chapter of the story, then let out a breath.

Holy cuss.

That was… just… holy cuss…

That should even the gap between her and Shinji quite nicely.

Speak of the devil, she smirked as she felt two familiar arms slip around her waist.

"Sorry." Shinji apologised, holding her tightly.

"Hey, it's not like I've been waiting for you or anything." Asuka replied. "So, what happened?"

Shinji shrugged. "The whole thing degenerated into a massive brawl, everyone versus anyone, father went super again, Sephiroth decided he wanted to fight me and father as well, then a pirate ship smashed through the bar and then I fought Cthulhu and got dragged so far down the bottom of the ocean that I found a snow-covered mountain above water where I killed it. You?"

Asuka blanked as she processed this information.

Then she considered it.

Then came to a conclusion.

"Not much." She replied. "Did some reading, raided the fridge. Kaede's in the hot spring outside, Naoki's studying on threatening opponents."

"Er… okay?" Shinji asked as the tattooed teenager wheeled into the room.

"I hope like hell that Arisato kid didn't pronounce his name wrong." Naoki said, gesturing to the screen of text. "Because if we go up against Minato Arisoto, we're running like hell, got it?"

Shinji and Asuka looked at him, confused.

"Look, you know that God Emperor Ikari you were just reading about?" Naoki asked, causing Asuka to choke and Shinji's eyebrows to rocket up his face. "Imagine him, but a complete psycho, he's better at it, and he tames _gods_ to do his bidding. Aris_a_to can be reasoned with and beaten, but if you see Aris_o_to, you run."

Asuka paled. That worried Shinji.

* * *

Kamina leant back, whistling as he adjusted his glasses as the Kraken rose from the depths.

"Well, ain't this a pickle." He grinned against the wind and rain. "SO! Who knows how to drive a pirate ship?"

"Allons y!" The Doctor shouted, charging across the deck and leaping onto the deck and grabbing the wheel and turning the boat against the waves.

Kamina whipped his sword around and looked at the men around him. Simon, Cloud, Gendo, Spike, Jack Rakan, Lelouch, Edward Elric and Roy Mustang.

"Looks like we've all got our own teams lad!" Kamina boasted, swinging his blade over his shoulder. "FIRST ONE TO KILL OCTOPUSSY GETS A BAJILLION POINTS!"

The beast slammed a tentacle into the boat, crashing against the soaked wood as the structure shook. The Doctor grunted as he fought to keep the ship steady as the Kraken launched itself into the air and spewed fire on those below as it descended back into the waves.

The fire itself wasn't that powerful, but the wave as it crashed into the sea capsized the boat momentarily, before it righted itself. All but the Doctor, Kamina, Simon, Gendo and Spike were lost to the waves.

"What, so as soon as we fall in we die?" Spike asked, spitting out a soaked and useless cigarette. "Great…"

"MUDA!" Kamina roared, flames exploding on the ocean behind him. "WE RIDE TONIGHT!"

**SMASH**

The world grew dark as the waves calmed.

A glowing light surrounded Simon as the shards of the Smash Ball fell around him.

"_**Finishing move.**_" Simon snarled at the Kraken as it rose from the depths.

"Oh…" Gendo whispered as Simon raised the drill above his head.

"_**Giga…**_" the drill expanded to a dozen times its size.

"_**Drill…**_" Simon slammed it through the deck, pressing his weight against it as it hit the water.

"_**BREAKER!**_" he roared, leaping from the ship and tearing through the great monster with a powerful war cry.

And the world drowned under a wave of blood.

* * *

The hat of a Wizzard floated amongst the debris.

A scrawny hand grabbed it, and a man in a soaked, red robe clambered atop the chest, gasping for breath as he clutched the hat to his chest and a bottle of rum to his lips.

_\_ _**We have a winner.**_ _\_

"Huh?" Rincewind asked, sitting up.

_\_ _**Rincewind of the Dark Crusaders is the only remaining bar brawler.**_ _\_ The Smash Ball declared. _\_ _**Not only is he the only one left in the game after both the bar brawl and the battle of the high seas, he slayed more with his weapon than any other Smash Brother this day.**_ _\_

"Weapon?" Rincewind asked, before looking down at what he was sitting on.

The Luggage.

"You destructive cuss…" Rincewind sighed.

_\_ _**He is currently the greatest badass out of the lot of you. **__\_ The Smash Ball continued. _\_ _**Gods, demons, monsters and heroes all fall to his magnificence. Behold the greatest of you: Rincewind of the God Tier.**_ _\_

"Oh cuss me…" Rincewind sobbed.

* * *

"Now that kicked ass." Kamina grinned. "How about you?"

"Everyone left in the game has been sorted into groups, either willingly or by default." Xanatos explained, looking up at his lord. "All the waste has been removed."

"The blood is boiling and wheels are turning." The Master grinned. "And the Cloister Bell is ringing proudly."

"The hearts are being connected, one by one." Vanitas finished. "Tomorrow, the Brawl shall begin."

"Everything is proceeding according to the scenario." Gendo reported to his lord as he drew pair of pointed, orange sunglasses from his cloak and placed them on his face. "The pieces are all in their place."

From his skull throne upon the volcano of iron, their ruler lazily smirked.

He was a coward. A trickster. He boasted of strength he didn't have as he led armies into hell. Some could call him as the father of lies, but his sin was that of pride, and falsehoods left a sour taste in his mouth. So when he wants to manipulate someone, he doesn't lie at all. He tells them the truth. He roars the exact, undeniable truth with all his might and all those around him shall burn from the sheer strength of his passion and fury.

Empires and rulers shall fall and fail, but his glory remained forever. He was a man who turned a single defeat into a thousand victories. A man who made himself a martyr so his greatest disciple would preach his gospel forever. He watched as his echo crushed the mightiest of empires for a single woman, and he made a thousand calculations and manipulations behind the hubris of an ignorant hero.

His name reigned above all others. The mere act of imitating his face piece made the most pathetic of cowards into fearless warriors. The mere breath of his name turned boys into men, girls into women, and he pushed the foolish notions of limits and sense aside as he tore the universe asunder, enforcing his will above all else.

He was the lowest of tricksters. He was the greatest of heroes.

He stood over his men and laughed proudly.

"Of course!" Kamina boomed, folding his arms as he stood upon his throne of bone. "Just who the hell do you think we are?"

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

So… who saw that coming?

You know, I think I am now physically incapable of writing something without it becoming heavy, powerful and epic. I mean, just look at the Rebuild of Fairly English Story. It's not exactly a rewrite anymore, since it's now reached the point where it is just so much more.

That said, this is probably why I've had so much difficulty writing Time Paradox lately. Dark, forceful and epic is what Time Paradox is not. I've changed over the past six months since I completed Fairly English Story. I am so much more now.

Yes, it has been six months since I completed Fairly English Story. I will be announcing my mission soon, hopefully within the next two weeks.

Now you may be wondering. "Hey, he's been writing for the past six months. Why hasn't he written anything more in For Every Soul?"

And that's a fair question. Truth is, I expected to be out on my mission by now, but I was lazy with the paperwork. Even so, if I went straight into For Every Soul back in April, I'd probably be half way through the story as it was back then by now.

But it would suck.

Not to you guys. You guys would shout about how great it was, as you always do, and I'm thankful for that.

But that's not good enough for me.

In the past six months, I have grown incredibly. When I do write For Every Soul, it will be completely new. It will devastate you. It will rock you to your cores.

Believe me when I say that what I have planned more than makes up for the added six-month wait to the original two year gap. But in return, I want a favour.

Criticism.

I love it when people shout how awesome I am, but if you keep doing that, I'll only improve at a constant, steady pace as I one-up myself. However, if you point out where I can improve, what wasn't done so well, what could be done better, what you want to see more of and what you want to see less of, then I'll adapt and I'll grow even faster.

This doesn't just apply to this story. This applies to all my stories. Work with me, be harsh on me, and the epic shall grow so fast that it'll actually take you two years to prepare yourselves for the cussstorm that shall come.

For now though, which of the teams established so far do you want to see more of? Remember, they must be interesting, and I will interpret every character as I see fit, and the Brawl shall change them, as you've seen.

Later.

And yes. I just upgraded Dennis the Menace to someone that Alex from Clockwork Orange would fear. And he's a hero. And he's buddies with Taz, John McClain, Ryoka and Kei Kurono.

And yes. Kamina did not ally himself with the villains. The villains allied themselves with Kamina.

And yes, Shinji referenced both Gundam _and_ Lord of the Rings in the same battle. And he has a signature move now.

I deserve a High Five.

Especially because the chapter of Time Paradox that I am currently writing is currently at over 6,000 words and counting.


	6. David Xanatos VS The Recap

"So..." Xanatos muttered, browsing the list of those on the computer screen. "Here's the most interesting people so far by universe..."

* * *

**CHARACTERS**

* * *

**SONIC THE HEDGEHOG **

Sonic  
Tails  
Blaze  
Shadow  
Amy Rose  
Knuckles

* * *

**TRIGUN**

Vash The Stampede

* * *

**THE BEANO**

Dennis The Menace

* * *

**GANTZ**

Kei Kurono  
Reika Shimohira

* * *

**NARUTO**

Naruto  
Sakura  
Sasuke  
Orochimaru  
Madara Uchiha  
Kakashi

* * *

**BLEACH**

Kenpachi  
Ichigo  
Orihime  
Uryuu  
Aizen  
Rukia  
Hitsuguya

* * *

**FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST**

Edward Elric  
Alphonse Elric  
Scar  
Greed  
Father  
Roy Mustang  
Riza Hawkeye

* * *

**MAHOU SENSEI NEGIMA**

Jack Rakan  
Negi

* * *

**FIRE EMBLEM **

Ike  
Marth

* * *

**KIRBY **

Kirby  
Meta Knight

* * *

**SUPER MARIO BROS**

Mario  
Luigi  
Bowser

* * *

**HALO **

Master Chief

* * *

**METROID **

Samus Aran

* * *

**POKÉMON **

Mewtwo  
Lucario

* * *

**YUGIOH **

Yugi

* * *

**DRAGONBALL **

Goku  
Gohan  
Vegeta  
Piccolo  
Cell  
Buu

* * *

**FINAL FANTASY **

Warrior of Light  
Squall  
Rinoa  
Sephiroth  
Cloud Strife  
Tifa  
Reno  
Rude  
Auron

* * *

**MIRAI NIKKI (FUTURE DAIRY)**  
Yuno  
Yukki

* * *

**PIRATES **

Jack Sparrow

* * *

**DIE HARD **

John McClane

* * *

**DC UNIVERSE **

Batman  
Joker  
Superman

* * *

**MARVEL **

Spider-man  
Wolverine  
Cyclops  
Iron Man

* * *

**ZELDA **

Link  
Ganondorf

* * *

**MEGAMAN **

Megaman

* * *

**TO ARU MAJUTSU NO INDEX **

Touma  
Misaka  
Accelerator

* * *

**KINGDOM HEARTS **

Sora  
Kairi  
Riku  
Mickey Mouse  
Vanitas  
Leon  
Marluxia

* * *

**TEKKEN **

Jin Kazama

* * *

**RESIDENT EVIL **

Leon

* * *

**DEVIL MAY CRY **

Dante

* * *

**SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI **

Minato (P3)  
Ryoji (P3)  
Aigis (P3)  
Yosuke (P4)  
Naoki Kashima (SMT III: NOCTURNE)

* * *

**ELFEN LIED **

Kaede (A.K.A. Lucy, Nyuu)

* * *

**JOJO's BIZARRE ADVENTURE **

Jotaro  
Dio

* * *

**GURREN LAGANN **

Simon  
Kamina  
Yoko

* * *

**EVANGELION **

Shinji Ikari  
Asuka  
Gendo Ikari

* * *

**DOCTOR WHO **

Ace  
The Doctor  
The Master

* * *

**BLACK LAGOON **

Revy  
Rock

* * *

**MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZIMIYA **

Haruhi  
Kyon

* * *

**GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA **

Onizuka

* * *

**CODE GEASS**

Lelouch  
Suzaku  
Kallen

* * *

**FIST OF THE NORTH STAR **

Kyoshiro

* * *

**TOUHOU**

Sakuya

* * *

**TWILIGHT **

Edward Cullen

* * *

**HELLSING **

Alucard

* * *

**ICARUS **

Pit

* * *

**CASTLEVANIA **

Simon Belmont

* * *

**INDIANA JONES **

Indiana Jones

* * *

**TMNT **

Shredder

* * *

**DOKURO-CHAN **

Dokuro

* * *

**ONE PIECE **

Luffy  
Crocodile

* * *

**DISCWORLD **

Rincewind  
The Luggage

* * *

**WARHAMMER 40,000**

Ciaphus Cain

* * *

**LOONEY TUNES **

Taz

* * *

**STAR WARS **

Darth Vader

* * *

**BLAZBLUE **

Bang Shishigami

* * *

**DEATHNOTE **

L  
Light

* * *

**COWBOY BEBOP **

Spike

* * *

**MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS **

Power Rangers

* * *

**METAL GEAR SOLID **

Snake

* * *

**SAMURAI JACK **

The Scotsman

* * *

**LIAR GAME **

Akiyama

* * *

**GAMBLE FISH **

Tomu

* * *

**FANTASIA **

The Broomstick

* * *

**GARGOYLES **

David Xanatos

* * *

**END CHARACTERS**

* * *

"And one hundred points each for being fun..." Xanatos typed, "But deduct twelve thousand from the Power Rangers. I don't think they have anything more to provide us."

He frowned. Of course his universe would be named after Goliath and his brood. But, regardless. Now he had to sort out the top twenty-two teams.

"Why he can't accept a reasonable number I have no idea." Xanatos sighed as he began shifting through the teams named.

* * *

**THE FALLEN **  
Kamina - Gendo Ikari - The Master - David Xanatos - Vanitas

**BLAZE REAVERS **  
Rock - Revy - Roy Mustang - Riza Hawkeye - Link

**WORLD BEARERS **  
Shinji - Ikari - Simon - Asuka - Kaede - Naoki

**BLACK TEMPLARS **  
Lelouch - Sasuke - Alucard - Superman - Orihime

**TRAIL BLAZERS **  
Sonic - Tails - Blaze - Vash - Negi

**CONSECRATERS **  
The Doctor - Haruhi - Kyon - Spike - Aigis

**KNIGHTS SANGUINE **  
Ike - Meta Knight - Kirby - Warrior of Light - Piccolo

**LUNA WOLVES **  
Cloud - Tifa - Sakuya - Edward - Scar

**RAVEN CLAWS **  
Knuckles - Snake - Goku - Jin - Wolverine

**ANGELS OF MAYHEM **  
Yukki - Yuno - Kakashi - Jack Sparrow - Amy Rose

**ANGELS OF IRON **  
Shredder - Megaman - Iron Man - Dokuro-chan - Pit

**ROARING LIONS **  
Squall - Rinoa - Yugi - Hitsuguya - Edward Elric

**KINGS OF LEON **  
Leon - Leon - Dante - Rude - Reno

**SHADOWS OF THE KNIGHT **  
Sephiroth - Riku - Mickey Mouse - Minato Arisato - Ryoji Mochizuki

**LIGHTBRINGERS **  
Sora - Kairi - Touma - Misaka - Alphonse

**DARKTAKERS **  
Shadow - Vegeta - Accelerator - Marth - Lucario

**GURREN **  
Yoko - Onizuka - Kallen - Sakura - Rukia

**RAMPAGERS EXEMPLAR **  
Kurono - Reika - Dennis the Menace - John McClain - Taz

**INVADERS **  
Master Chief - Samus Aran - Greed - Mario - Luigi

**HANDS OF POWER **  
Mewtwo - Dio - Cell - Bowser - Father

**HEROES ARGENT **  
Naruto - Ichigo - Luffy - Jotaro - Gohan

**DARK CRUSADERS **  
Batman - Rincewind - Jack Rakan - Ciaphus Cain - The Joker

* * *

Xanatos chuckled at his little joke. Having the Dark Knight fight alongside that madman can only mean fun things.

He slipped the team a few dozen extra points as an apology.

"Yo!" Kamina shouted, slinging an arm around Xanatos's neck and grinning at the computer screen. "Almost done?"

"Just finished." Xanatos said, turning to face his leader. "I was just about to begin designing some arena's for the next games, but is there anything I can help you with?"

Kamina let in a whistle of breath. "That boring crap can wait until later." he said. "See, the thing is, I've got this plot going on, but I also have the _teeniest_ suspicion that some of you guys _miiight_ be plotting against me."

"Why, whatever gave you that idea?" Xanatos asked, steepling his fingers together in mock innocence.

Kamina laughed, slapping him on the back. "ANYWAY!" he shouted. "I wanted to ask your advice on how to present the master plan to the other guys, since you're so good at it and you're generally the least insane out of the lot of us."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Xanatos nodded. "So, enlighten me."

"Nah, might as well show ya." Kamina said, pulling his teammate out of his chair and leading him through the marble-filled palace that served as their team base. "And lemme tell ya." he said, leaning over and poking Xanatos in the chest with a grin. "It's gonna blow your mind."

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

OH THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU ALL!

And now, reviews.

Slayer End, no concerning the Grid and OC's. And I'm only accepting canon characters that I find interesting and can work with.

Razamataz, here you go.

Patcheresu, I have no idea with the words you are saying.

Heraklinos, Kamina is Kamina. And no OC's or Fanfic characters.


	7. PREVIEW AND LATERS

Sorry about the delay on this one, I've been kinda brain dead lately.

Well, that's true, but I've also been RP-ing on AnimeVice. I've also uploaded a bunch of concept arts for some of these fanfictions onto there. Go check it out.

First off, thanks for your review Laughing Swordsman. Gonna take your advice and focus on a couple of teams per chapter.

Man with no name, it's canon Minato. Hence the surname Arisato instead of Arisoto.

Deep Space Cowgirl, I needed an explanation for her sudden crazy awesome in later chapters. Fanfiction seemed the way to go. And I haven't finished introducing characters yet.

Now, here's the deal. Vote for teams you want to show up in the next chapter. I'll focus on three known teams and one new one in each chapter, maybe brief glances at a couple of other teams at the most. Don't suggest new teams, I got that covered. Vote for teams you want in each next chapter.

Now, here's the reason I'm not posting a new chapter. I'm currently serving a temporary mission in England for a couple of months while I wait for my actual mission call to arrive. More details in the latest Rebuild of Fairly English Story. I'll be back to announce my actual mission for reals.

In this chapter, we get… Rampagers Exemplar, Trail Blazers, and… Kings of Leon, with a foreword by the Dark Crusaders.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

The Joker laughed as Batman slammed him against the wall.

"Alright, break it up." Jack Rakan said, stepping between them and picking each one up by the waist and holding them at arms length. "I don't know what your beef with each other is and nor do I care, but we're a team now so _act_ like one."

"That's right!" The Joker wheezed, laughing despite his broken nose. "_Partner?_"

Batman snarled, slamming his fist into Rakan's throat to get at the clown, but it wasn't working.

"I can hold you both here all day until you promise to play nice." Jack said. "Are you going to be friends yet?"

"_You don't know what he's like!_" Batman snarled. "_He needs to be locked away where he can't hurt anyone!_"

"And in case you haven't noticed, he's locked in here with us." Jack pointed out. "And trust me, he can't hurt anyone when we respawn upon death."

"_Oh, he'll figure some way of torturing you. I guarantee it._"

"Oh, come one batsy!" Joker laughed. "That'd be, that'd be, too… _predictable…_"

Batman snarled, and Jack banged their heads together. "KNOCK IT OFF!" he shouted.

Joker shook his head clear. "Never start with the head." He said, licking his lips. "They get all… _fuzzy_, and can't feel what comes next."

In the kitchen, Cain sighed. "You wanna go help dad?" he asked his drinking buddy.

"Not a chance." Rincewind whimpered. "I've got enough problems being the target of this game…"

* * *

"THE SPINES ON ITS BACK ARE TOO SHARP FOR A MAN~!" Sonic, Vash and Negi shouted, waving their mugs of beer. "THEY'LL LEAVE A SHARP PAIN IN THE WORST PLACE THEY CAN~!"

"What're they singing for?" Tails asked Blaze.

"It's because they're drunk." Blaze sighed. "Just don't listen to the words."

Tails sighed, and got back to researching the other teams. "So, Amy looked upset last I saw her. You think Sonic hurt her feelings earlier?"

"I never said anything since she was one of your friends, but I never liked her." Blaze shrugged, skimming through the books.

"Huh?" Tails asked. "Why not?"

"She's… not right." Blaze said. "She's delusional and obsessed, and under the impression that it's love. I'm not the world's expert on the subject, but love does not involve threatening someone into marriage."

"I guess she's a little pushy, but there's no need to be so hard on her." Tails pointed out.

"Yes, there is." Blaze said. "Look, I've had my fair share of stalkers, and-"

"Stalkers?" Tails shouted. "Amy's not a stalker!"

"If you forget about her being your friend and look at it objectively, then Amy is a textbook stalker." Blaze argued. "If he had a house, Sonic would be changing the locks, packing up and moving away several times a month just to get away from her. She's dangerous Tails." Blaze said. "Maybe not now, but one of these days, she's gonna snap and somebody's gonna get hurt."

"If you say so…" Tails groaned, focusing on his research.

"SO UNLESS YOU WANT A PINCUSHION TOOL~!" they other three shouted as they returned to the chorus. "THE HEDGEHOG CAN NEVER BE BUGGERED AT ALL~!"

* * *

"It's all her fault." Yuno said. "She's tricked him, that's gotta be it."

"Yeah…" Amy said.

"He knows you love him, you just need to show it more." Yuno encouraged.

"That's right…" Amy nodded.

"And as his bride-to-be, it's your duty to save him from the vile temptress."

"It is, isn't it…?" Amy asked, holding her new axe.

* * *

From the other side of the door, Kakashi sighed. "Kid, you really need to have a word with that friend of yours…" he said to himself, pushing himself from the wall and walking down the stairs.

Yukki and Jack were practicing their swordplay in the lounge.

Well, swordplay was what they were doing, but Yukiteru Amano was duelling with a flintlock pistol.

Yukki pushed Jack's blade back, twisting his hand to take aim as Jack's blade parried the gun, and the bullet shot into the bookcase as the pirate lunged with his cutlass.

Yukki leant back and the blade passed over him, and the boy kicked up, striking Jack in the chin before spinning the blade out of the pirate's hand and aiming his gun.

**BLAM**

Yukki's dead body fell to the ground, blood pooling into the carpet as Jack's pistol smoked.

There was a slam behind Kakashi as a bedroom door opened, and Yukki ran downstairs past the ninja. "Right, best three out of five." Yukki insisted as his corpse was devoured by the pink light.

Kakashi sighed.

Nope, there was no way this kid was gonna talk some sense into the girl.

For all Kakashi knew, Yukki was way past gone himself.

* * *

Edward Elric burst up with laughter. "Hey, Squall!" he shouted over the couch.

"What?" the SeeD asked from the computer table, standing up to see what was going on.

"Get back in your seat." Yugi told him, snickering.

Confused, Squall rolled back in his chair to see what his teammates were playing.

Final Fantasy VIII.

"Turn that off." Squall demanded, storming over. "Now."

"Make us, Chicken-wuss." Ed said, barely able to contain his laughter.

"I gave you an order." Squall glared.

"Whatever." Hitsuguya pouted, earning more laughter from Yugi and Ed.

A fireball rushed over their heads and bounced over the TV screen. "I SAID SHUT IT OFF!" Squall shouted, face bright red.

"Ellipses." Yugi said in a deep, dramatic voice, pushing Squall over the edge and making him lunge at the duelist with a clenched fist.

* * *

**-}+{-**

* * *

OH WOW THE INTRIGUE WHATEVER WILL THE FINAL CHAPTER BE LIKE?


End file.
